January Alternative Mini-Meet

I organise little informal social gatherings of local alternative types of many varieties (I deliberately encourage members of diverse subcultures to attend the same gatherings because we have a mixture of shared experiences and differing perspectives that I think is valuable). Today a small group of us met at the Brae Café in Inverness for hot drinks, cake and chatter. 

Cl. on the left, K. on the right.
Photograph by the HouseCat. 

Originally I anticipated a few more Lolitas from the general area to be attending, hence my Gothic Lolita outfit, but sadly due to transport issues, that was not to be (one of the disadvantage of living in somewhere like the Highlands where there is a level of practical isolation - not everyone can easily get into the city, especially if they don't own a car). Part of the reason I try and organise the gatherings is because often people can't get into Inverness on the dates of larger events like club nights, especially as late night transport is limited to a taxi or a stay in a local hotel if one is drinking, as often the busses don't run at late hours and many folk live in places unconnected by rail. My meets tend to involve tea and coffee rather than beer and whiskey, so people can drive home safely and legally and not need to rely on public transport or taxis. Also, I can plan meets on dates that don't clash with people's schedules, and be quite flexible about arrangements. 

Gothic Lolita ruffles, and an awkward smile.
Photograph by K.

I decided this was the perfect occasion to wear both my new curly wig (well, second-hand, bought from the photographer behind ::Sheridan's Art:: - check out her awesome and often quite darkly inspired art photography) and the Baby, The Stars Shine Bright dress I bought secondhand from Closet Child. I tried to keep my Gothic Lolita outfit on the decidedly Goth side. Sarge was wearing my Hearts & Roses London brocade frock-coat, his own rather beautifully embroidered guayabera shirt, Raven's lace jabot, and my winged and chained (an interesting metaphor, perhaps?) collar pins. He's not normally that Gothic in appearance, and especially not that vampiric looking. He also borrowed one of Raven's canes. 

K is for kitty-cat! Nyan :3
Photograph by the HouseCat.

The meet began at 13:30, and we disbanded at 16:00 and got through a lot of chatter. It's only a social gathering, not an on-topic discussion group, so everything from my Japanese fashion magazines to historical amputation techniques (well, we are a bunch of morbidly curious Gothically inclined types...) to online gaming got discussed and time flew by with me being quite surprised by how quickly the time passed, and how dark it had become when we left the cafe. 

CL. One of those people who is part Goth, part Metalhead, and all awesome.
Photograph by the HouseCat.

Some of us had met each other in person before at other gatherings (my birthday picnic, various tea-parties, out clubbing, etc.) and some of us had never met in person before! K and I have known each other for a while, but she brought her friend C. - whom I had never met - with her. Cl. & and K. had met before at my birthday party, and Cl. and I meet often at Alternative X clubbing nights, and Sarge and I have been friends for a very long while, but this is the first time he has met the rest of the group. Despite us not really being hugely well-acquainted, we all gelled really well, probably partly due to it being quite a small number, and partly because we actually all have more in common than just alternative subcultures - for example it turns out that both Sarge and C. are avid players of 'League of Legends'. 

Sarge, in ruffles and brocade, courtesy of him staying at my place
and I wanting some unsuspecting metalhead to vamp up...
Photograph by me.

The Brae Café is a café-gallery that has a lot of interesting art on the walls and some interesting quirky and alternative jewellery for sale by Frost Raven Jewellery. I spotted the skulls, Cl. spotted some black lips with fangs, and thinking of K. I spotted a black coffin with pink swirls, which C. bought for her at the end. I'm seriously thinking of buying one of the skull pendants for myself. I unfortunately can't find a link to website, Etsy page or FaceBook page for Frost Raven Jewellery, but I am trying to track them down so I can interview and show-case them on this blog sometime, as their work is really quite funky. 

Altogether an interesting day was had, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. We wandered off into the town as a group before heading off to our respective destinations, and I met up with Suzy_Bugs (who came 'round to my apartment for dinner). It's Raven's birthday, our anniversary, and Valentine's day next month, so I doubt I will be having another gathering for a while yet, but another will occur, that is almost certain. 

Tea And Coffee

Caffeinated HouseCat

☕ You only ~have~ to drink tea & coffee if you actually like them. ☕

I've noticed a trend of people drinking tea to seem more Lolita or more like Emilie Autumn or even more Goth. Sometimes they video themselves drinking tea really awkwardly. It seems strange and sort of pretentious behaviour. They are clearly trying really hard to look like they are enjoying their tea and their tea-party, and while they might be enjoying the rest of the tea-party, they are trying very hard not to grimace at the actual tea. 

(An aside: I know that tea is an everyday beverage in the UK, and that there are places where tea being made with hot water, a tea-bag and possibly milk and sugar is something of a rarity, but it is a very simple process, and should be quite hard to get wrong.) 

Anyway, this is not about getting making tea wrong, this is about people trying too hard to be quaintly British-esque in search of being more subcultural. I am inherently quaintly British so have never had that as something I wish to become, and can't exactly see the reason why people so desire to be like this. The only motivation I can see is an idealisation of Victorian society and a belief that all Victorian people did is sit around on sunny afternoons drinking tea, playing croquet and, if female, doing embroidery. Victorian life was not actually like that. 

Maybe it is a reaction to the culture of youth binge-drinking, with drinking tea being a stereotypically "civilised" thing to do, and I quite agree that afternoon tea is far superior to evening drunkenness, but there are plenty of soft drinks that are not tea to drink if you dislike tea. There are exceedingly elegant and refined tea meals and ceremonies, and yes the 1840's Afternoon Tea, earlier 18thC tea and of course various Tea Ceremonies from the Orient are all elegant and refined occasions, but that requires more than simply the act of consuming tea from pretty containers or of eating cake off a tiered stand. And engaging in any of the above activities for the purpose of becoming 'more Lolita' or 'more Goth' is silly and a bit appropriative. 

Not drinking tea does not make one any less goth, in the same way that drinking tea does not make one any more goth. I'm not sure why this has become a hugely 'Goth' thing to do, any more than why drinking coffee black was a hugely 'Goth' thing to do when I was a teenage babybat. 

☕ "Give me coffee, black, black as my soul!" ☕

I happen to rather like coffee, but I have a caffeine intolerance and get a little too wired if I have anything other than decaff, and I like lattes. This does not make me less Goth. I also like frappuccinos. Most of all, I like rose milkshakes with real vanilla ice-cream, whipped cream on top, served in a tall glass with a straw and marshmallows. Hideously pink, calorific, and decidedly fabulous. Aesthetically one would look fitting in the hands of a Sweet Lolita, but food should not be about what it looks like, or which culture it is from, but about the taste. Really, only drink or eat things because you like them. This does not just apply to tea and coffee, but to sushi and other Japanese food, absinthe, red wine, snakebite & black or anything else that is edible and related to a subculture. 

Be yourself. Eat and drink what you enjoy (in healthy moderation, of course).