Stereotyping From Within The Subculture And Inclusivity: Part 2 - Gender Roles In Fashion

I feel like I should debunk each of the stereotypes and that we within the Goth subculture impose on ourselves and our community.  Today I am tackling another topic which affects me personally, and that is how it seems that Goth fashion (and interests, but today I am talking about fashion only) for female-identifing members of the community seem weirdly limited, and that there is another relatively narrow set for male-identifying members of the subculture, but for them a bit more breadth and freedom. 

As I mentioned yesterday, Goth, in being a sub-culture, does inherit some of the values of its parent cultures, but also has freedom to adopt its own values and needs to have the self-awareness to realise when it has adopted harmful or negative values from its parent culture. One of those appears to be that women dress one way, and men the other, and I feel that this is very narrow, and does not accommodate those who do not consider themselves men or women, and those who disregard any gendering of fashion, and various other positions. 

Within Goth, I tend to see a rather narrow set of fashion archetypes for women and female-identifying/dressing Goths. This is something I addressed quite broadly in ::this:: post, and I would suggest readers go back and read that post, because this is very much a sequel to it, as well as a sequel to yesterday's post. Goth is niche enough fashion, I know, but in a subculture where I thought gender boundaries in fashion would be more blurred, there is a surprising rigidity. 

I think the easiest example of this is that collections of Gothic trousers for women tend to focus on skinny jeans (I know there are exceptions, but this seems to be the main trend) whereas Gothic trousers for men, while including skinny jeans cut for a different body-type also include the baggy trousers with pockets and straps, Romantic Goth trousers that lace up down the side, brocade trousers, knee britches, etc. I found some brocade effect trousers, but they're skinny cut, which I hate; I do not have skinny legs, and therefore I either have to buy trousers too large at the waist/hip to fit over my legs, or have them uncomfortably tight. Either way, I can find literally hundreds of differing skirts and dresses in a wide variety of styles from bustles to mini-skirts, to Gothic Lolita skirts designed to accommodate a petticoat, to pencil skirts, to industrial skirts that are (wonderfully) marketed as unisex (that is the sort of thing I want to see more of!). Men do have the option of skirts and kilts in industrial fashion, but there's a huge dearth of skirts for men too, although by the very nature of many skirts being only fitted for a narrow section at the waist, quite a few skirts for women are wearable by men, whereas as many trousers need to fit well from the waist to the upper thigh, men's trousers can look ungainly on women (yet I still wear Raven's combats... I think they're comfortably roomy, but hey...). 

For legwear I actually like, that is cut to fit my curved female figure, I have to shop from retailers half-way across the world from me that stock Ouji/Visual Kei fashion - in fact, Japanese Alternative fashion is quite pioneering for its gender-fashion flexibility in general - just think of Mana and what are known as 'Brolitas' in the west, and of the androgynous styles and girls who both cosplay and dress in 'male' fashions (girls in 'dandy', Ouji and prince styles, for example, or wearing Gothic Aristocrat fashion in the 'male' archetypes). I really wish more of this sort of flexibility appeared in Goth in Europe, North America, Australia, etc. 

I think men and male-bodied persons wearing clothes that are traditionally female gendered (platform shoes, long skirts, etc.), and male cross dressing in general is more frequent both in Japanese Alternative fashions than women and female-bodied people approaching clothes tha are traditionally gendered male. Goth. In the UK, I have seen quite a few male Goths wear skirts or completely cross-dress at Goth events, many of whom I know for a fact identify primarily or wholly as male, and I have seen quite a few transgendered and gender-queer Goths whose birth sex was male, and more flamboyant gay Goth men who are not afraid to wear garments and makeup that is seen by mainstream culture as 'for women' but are not trying to appear necessarily feminine, but rather ostentatiously masculine. I am very happy that the Goth subculture appears to be a largely accepting place in this respect - not being male, or male-to-female or otherwise flouting the gender binary from a place that is seen as originating as male, I cannot speak from their perspective or claim to know their experience, but I have certainly seen no overt hostility, and generally from the social encounters witnessed, a generally very accepting atmosphere. 

I think this climate of acceptance goes for Lolita to, where I think the women who are hostile to 'Brolitas' and interest in the subculture from those they perceive as male is a minority - all the advice boards, forums, communities, etc. where this has been raised from those Brolitas, transgender Lolitas and other gender-variant Loltias who have been curious and afraid has been vastly positive, and the nasty comments about them restricted to the likes of Behind The Bows and Lolita Secrets and other internet spaces dedicated to being nasty to people behind their backs and unkind comments, and coming from being newbie Lolita who was very off-put in general by the attitudes I found in these places, and then interacting with the wider community and finding that there's generally only drama and unpleasantness if you go looking for it and that the community as a whole are quite pleasant and helpful and a lot less elitist and rude than they are made out to be. 

However, I still see that most female Goths follow the same few fashion archetypes and I see very few tomboy Goths, practically styled female Goths, butch Goths, female-to-male transvestite Goths (or Steampunks, as I once was, with my male Steampunk alter-ego Raphael...), or other female identifying and women Goths who wear things that are not trying to enhance secondary sexual characteristics in either the fancy skirts, corsets and frills style, or the mini-skirts/booty shorts ripped-fishnets and high-heels vein, or something in-between. Most of the Gothic fashion shoots of women are while certainly beautiful, often very similar - a thin, pale woman in a corset that accentuates her waist and bust, miles of beautiful fabric and lace, long black or red hair, plenty of accessories and a scenic location, or a scantily-clad almost post-apocalyptic young woman wearing plenty of ripped and revealing clothes. I have dressed in both of these manners and have nothing against either of them, in fact, I am especially fond of the almost vampiric or witchy styles of rather elaborate anachronism, as anyone who follows this blog is aware.  I have also posed in an abandoned and ruined building in platform boots and ripped fishnets on my arms (something I ought to post here!). 

I  wish there was more variety, and that the variant images and styles were more popular, because as it stands, I feel that there is a certain pressure to dress a certain way to be accepted within the Goth community, which is ridiculous coming from a community that faces prejudice and a distinct lack of acceptance from many quarters because of the way we dress, and that my more traditionally feminine fashion will get me more page-views, more positive attention and more compliments and re-blogs than if I posted pictures of me in more traditionally masculine styles, and that the notions of what is beautiful in Goth are black-mirror reflection of what is beautiful in mainstream fashion and mainstream culture, and that is sad for a subculture that is supposed to seek beauty in what is considered taboo, in what is considered ugly, and that embraced this in its early days, but does not seem to do so now.  Fashion might be 'mere clothes' but we are not embodying the values of our own subculture, and we can do better than that. 

I am also concerned that the gendering of fashion in Goth will seem alienating to those whose gender identities do not conform to any binary notion and wish for their outward appearance to reflect this, and being alienating is something that the Goth community should really avoid. I would hope the popularity of figures in the online Goth community such as Sebastian Columbine who do not identify with the traditional gender binary is a sign that we are an accepting subculture, but I know that is not always the case. 

I am on summer break from work for the time being, and I hope to showcase a lot more outfits involving trousers and shirts now that I have the opportunity to dress for myself daily rather then spend 5 days out of 7 dressing for my work environment. You have seen me in skirts hundreds (it must be hundreds by now) of times. I think I have appeared in my work trousers twice on this blog, and in Goth trousers three times. It is important to embody the change you want to see in the world, so I am going to start by showcasing two things I wish to see more of in Goth fashion - women wearing dandy/historical male aristocrat inspired outfits, and women wearing practical Goth fashion. If anyone can send me links to Goth bloggers who specialise in tomboy, dandy and even butch fashions, I would be interested. 

Note: I have tried to word my references to people who do not identify as men or women correctly, if I have unwittingly used the wrong terminology, I am sorry and mean no offence. I am coming at this as an outsider, as I neither consider myself a part of the gender binary (I am a woman according to my sex, but do not think that this determines anything about me beyond some biology only really important to myself, Raven and my doctor, and those who are involved in my physical training.) nor as a gender identity that isn't cisgendered because I consider gender a cultural construct that I personally reject, although I will be respectful of others who identify in a different manner and have different ideas about the nature of gender, or who agree that it is a construct, but find it a helpful one.  I would presume that Female-to-male transgender Goths are not female identifying, and will be mostly dressing in clothes gendered as masculine and if not, would probably prefer to be seen as approaching female gendered clothing from a male perspective. If I am wrong on this, feel free to correct me. These are things outside my frame of reference, and I am very wary of talking about people incorrectly or accidentally offensively, but I hope that it is clear that I am trying to encourage acceptance of a wider variety of clothing choice in relation to perceptions of gender and that I have absolutely no negative opinion towards how others identify and while I may be ignorant, am not wilfully so. 

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today was Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day on which to remember all of those murdered or driven to suicide for being transgender. It saddens me greatly to live in a world where people will kill each other over something that is really a personal thing. 

One of my friends is a transgender woman, who I will refer to here as only Helena, for her own privacy, and she wrote this on FaceBook, and with her permission I post it here: 

Today is transgender Day of Remembrance, where we take a moment to memorialize the trans people who lost their lives as a result of transphobia, be it because of murder, or because of suicide at the result of bullying or harassment.

Statistics tell us that a person identifying as trans* is murdered once every three days. This does not include suicide or any other cause of death. The trans community is one of the most discriminated-against groups of people, much more than cis-gender LGB people are. Simply coming out with a desire to maybe transition can put a person in danger of attack, loss of friends, getting fired, getting kicked out of the home (often by their own parents), and many other things that most people will never have to worry about.   

What I ask of you is to consider all of the above, and reflect on both the long way we have come in terms of awareness and acceptance, but also the very long way we still have to go. And if you know someone whose gender identity doesn't match what is commonly accepted, be supportive. Treat them as you would treat another person. Stick up for them if they are bullied. Offer a safe space for them to retreat to if they need it. You don't have to understand every minute aspect of our struggle to understand that most of us cannot fight it without your support.

Thank you.

When it comes to those I know who have transitioned, to me, it is as if they had any other form of body modification or plastic surgery, and the only thing that is different to me is what vocabulary I use in terms of new names and pronouns/gender descriptions if I knew them by other terms previously. I guess I am someone who sees gender as very much a social construct, probably because I have never understood or fit into that construct, and therefore gender is not something very relevant to how I see others or myself, so it doesn't really matter much to me whether someone is cisgendered, genderqueer or transgendered. I understand that it is important to how other people see themselves, but that's just not an important thing to how I see them (or myself, which I have written about ::here::). 

People are people, to be judged on how they act, what they say and do, NOT on what their genitals are or what their gender is. That seems like such a basic idea - don't judge - yet it is one that seems to only just be gathering momentum in the last few decades, even after all the hard work of late 18thC and 19thC social activists and those more recently.

Sadly, not everybody comes without prejudice, hence the horrible mess in the world that makes up sexism, homophobia and transphobia - all linked in how they based in the social acceptance of behaviour and characteristics according to archaic gender roles.  Think of how much homophobia is about gay men being effeminate, or lesbian women being masculine, or much of sexism being about how women ought to be meek and caring, and men aggressive and ambitious (in very broad terms). To me, it seems boggling that people develop such intolerance and hatred, and such a lack of empathy as to hate someone to the point of being actively bullying towards them, let alone murdering them. It seems like such a disconnect from basic humanity. Even if you, personally, do not understand, are squeamish about, or dislike what someone else has chosen to do, that does not give you the right to be nasty, aggressive or rude to them. 

Treat each other with dignity and respect, allow people their own choices. If you disagree with them, disagree politely, if you have questions, ask them with sensitivity (and sometimes, if you can't figure out how to ask politely just ask a search engine - as an algorithm, it won't be offended). If someone you know is suffering, and on this day, especially those who are suffering because their gender identity or expression does not fit into the narrow bounds set down from an older world, offer them compassion and kindness. 

Feminism and Anti-Trans Sentiment

After a certain rant published in the Observer, there has been a flare-up of what is seen to be an animosity between transwomen and feminists (as if these two groups can be lumped into two monolithic rivals...), stemming from outright transphobic sentiment from feminists. I'd like to start with saying that I see people as individuals, and judging them on gender expression is pretty much never going to be something that I do. I judge people on whether or not they are nice to others, and that's about it. 

Feminism was supposed to be about creating a world in which men and women were truly equal, and while there have certainly been an improvement in many societies, the world is still not an equal place, not even in countries where women are legally equals, and therefore our battles are not done. Part of what feminism has fought for is seeing women as people, and not pigeonholing them by their genitals, so it seems exceedingly hypocritical when people who call themselves feminists go around pigeonholing others according to their genitals. 

To the feminists who are quite a way outside stereotypical gendered behaviour:

On this blog I often write about stereotypically "feminine" things like dresses and makeup, fashion, etc. These are only some of my interests, and a lot more of my interests are things that are traditionally "masculine", and I know very well what it is like to be mocked, bullied, and ostracised by other women for not being girly enough, and treated badly by men for the same 'reason', and I know what it's like to have abuse hurled at me in the street for not presenting as "feminine" enough for the standards of lowlife drunks. 

{It was only a few days ago that I had "Oi! Mosher! F**k off you lesbo dyke, f**k off out of town, we don't want your kind, you aren't even f**king FEMALE" shouted at me by a gang of yobs in the town centre because I happen to prefer combat trousers, army boots, a trench-coat and a short hair-style to the short skirts, high heels, and long blonde-hair worn by many party-goers that January Friday night. I was also still listening when the same yobs shouted lewd sexual comments at the girls in heels and short skirts...}

I know that it hurts when you're on the receiving end of the prejudice against those who do not conform to gender stereotypes, but the existence of transgender people does not somehow confirm these insults to be right, and it is not another attempt to say that you, as a non-stereotypical woman, ought to go become a man, because women aren't supposed to be like that. It is the way some others want to lives, and it is not an attack against yours. 

To feminists in general:

If someone born in a biologically male-sexed body has surgery or uses other means to alter that body into one with female appearance, and live life as a woman, then they are going to receive a lot of the nasty inequalities aimed at women, as well as the prejudices that exist against transgender people. I can see why they'd want to join in with the feminist cause. Actually, I can see why any logical thinking person would want join in with the feminist cause; because anyone with any shred of empathy would realise that a world in which half the population are treated differently and as inferior to the other half is wrong. On a lot of feminist issues, whether someone is cis-gendered or trans-gendered should only really matter to their doctors and has no impact on the debate. Yes, there are certain health issues that can only affect cis-gendered women, and that things like reproductive rights issues are going to be particularly important to women who can get pregnant, but to outcast transgendered women from feminism because of this is equal to saying that cis-gendered women who have had hysterectomies, or are sterile, or whatever, cannot partake in feminism. 

Spend less time arguing about who does and does not get to be a feminist, and spend more time making the world a fairer place. Being mean to somebody else is not doing anything helpful to make others not be mean to you; this is playground stuff, I shouldn't have to explain it outside of work.

Oh, and never, ever get into the whole 'suffering Olympics' of trying to rank each other's woes and out-woe each other. Everyone's experiences are unique, and the amount of negativity they will get for being a certain minority will vary due to various factors. Really, this sort of behaviour is just pointless attempts at point-scoring.