My personal blog as a 'grown-up' Goth and Romantic living in the Highlands of Scotland. I write about the places I go, the things I see and my thoughts on life as a Goth and the subculture, and things in the broader realm of the Gothic and darkly Romantic. Sometimes I write about music I like and sometimes I review things. This blog often includes architectural photography, graveyards and other images from the darker side of life.

Goth is not just about imitating each other, it is a creative movement and subculture that grew out of post-punk and is based on seeing beauty in the dark places of the world, the expression of that in Goth rock. It looks back to the various ways throughout history in which people have confronted and explored the macabre, the dark and the taboo, and as such I'm going to post about more than the just the standards of the subculture (Siouxsie, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus, et al) and look at things by people who might not consider themselves anything to do with the subculture, but have eyes for the dark places. The Gothic should not be limited by what is already within it; inspiration comes from all places, the key is to look with open eyes, listen carefully and think with an open mind..

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Edinburgh City Part 5: The Hub and its Spire

This really is a fabulous building. I was walking up the hill to the castle and could not help but be stopped, transfixed in awe at it. I was already running behind schedule for the day (with my mission being photographing the castle thoroughly to produce a display for the school) but still had to stop and take pictures. 

I have a fondness for setting spires diagonally.

When I went on the ::history:: page of The Hub's ::website::, and read that it was a collaboration between James Gillespie Graham (who designed St, Mary's Catholic Cathedral, featured yesterday) and the famous Augustus Welby Pugin (Think 'Palace of Westminster') and I was both delighted and not entirely surprised. Everything about this building is wondrous, and the more recent conversion and restoration have been done most tastefully and include the work of a lot of modern crafters of great skill. 

A sense of verticality.
Photo taken after castle visit, hence duller sky.

It's dominating spire and wonderfully vertical architecture draws one to look upwards to he heavens and even on a cloudy, awful and drizzly day like the day I was there, it is beautiful. The page says the spire is the highest point in central Edinbugh, but after walking uphill into the castle and looking up at some of its towers, they certainly seem higher up, even if they are shorter towers. I am not a surveyor, though, and appearances can be deceiving. 

The sky was white with cloud, but weirdly bright.

The Hub is currently a venue associated with the Edinbugh International Festival (an arts festival) and includes a cafe. When I was there, the entrance was lit by flaming torches flickering in the wind (it certainly gets breezy on that hill, even if all the buildings make it look less exposed) and a piper was standing by the door. The next time I go to Edinburgh, it will certainly be somewhere I will have to visit the interior of, rather than just walk past.

At least the clouds were vaguely interesting here.

I'd like to visit this building again when the weather is more conducive to good photographs. The skies are dull and white here because they were dull and greying white with cloud on the day. It was also a rather windswept day. A calmer day with more varied and interesting clouds would be preferable. 

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Edinburgh City Part 4: Pictures of Us

St. Giles' Cathedral is in Parliament Square in Edinburgh, and I was posing in Parliament Square, trying to get the beautiful Gothic (and it is original Gothic, not Gothic Revival) architecture of the cathedral in the background. 


I was going for a classic Lolita look, just in black, with my Baby, The Stars Shine Bright dress, a velvet blazer and two different cameo necklaces. The fingerless lace gloves were so that I could fiddle with the camera and keep my fingers warm at the same time, and the head-dress is a rosette style one by Alice And The Pirates. The waist-ties are undone on the dress because I didn't find out until after I had gone out just how uncomfortable it was to have them tied under my blazer!


Both of these photographs above are by K., just taken on my camera. I did the re-touching afterwards. The following two photographs are of K. by me. I'm usually the one wearing Goth, and she's usually the one wearing Lolita, but for a change that was swapped that day. I think K. is the better photographer! 

The next time I go to Edinburgh (and there has to be a next time!) I will have to take some proper photographs of St. Giles' cathedral - especially the famous lantern spire. There are several other beautiful churches and other buildings on the Royal Mile that deserve photographing too. I was in Edinburgh for only 2 days and took so many photographs as it was - another trip with more photography time would be even more productive, although I think I would have to be much pickier with my photographs and write my blogs as a travelogue; I have written four blog entries about my Edinburgh travels already, and that's before getting as far as the castle!



Many thanks have to be given to K. for letting me stay in her apartment in Edinburgh, for being an excellent tour-guide, and for helping me out when I lost things and thought I would not be able to get home. She is a fabulous host and very kind. 

Monday, 6 October 2014

Edinburgh City Part 3: St. Mary's Catholic Cathedral

A Cathedral for a Sunday

Old residential style buildings are visible on the right.

I was actually on my way to take a short-cut through a shopping mall, being lead by K. to the castle, and insisted we stop so I could photograph some of the architecture around the road junction as I could see this Cathedral, something that looked like a very fancy Gothic Revival church in a late Gothic, almost Tudor style, converted into a restaurant called the Glass Box by the use of much modern glass and steel, and another church with towers done as open lanterns (which I took a photograph of that as at the end of this entry), and a few other interesting things.

Rock doves, I think, perched on an artificial cliff...

Edinburgh city has an over-abundance of glorious architecture. I tried to take as many photographs as I could, but I simply did not have time to photograph everything I saw that was interesting. Much of the beautiful architecture is Gothic and Gothic Revival - my two favourite styles, especially in their more elaborate variations. This is not the fanciest building in Edinburgh by any means, but it was fancy enough to catch my attention - as were several in the immediate vicinity. I will have to go back there and take more photographs because with cars and pedestrians and buses and lorries all getting between me and good photographs the last time, a trip on a quieter day is in order. I do hope to go back to Edinburgh because I only had chance to explore a small fraction of the city, and I didn't get to go on any ghost tours, nor visit the dungeons, nor visit any cemeteries or necropoli (and most cities for the living have their cities for the dead). 


Some lovely Gothic grandeur for an entrance. 

The sign at the right of the entrance relates some of this building's history (although with photographs taken at that distance it is quite unreadable here) and says, among many other things, that it was built in 1814 and designed by the architect James Gillespie Graham, and that it had originally been surrounded by residential buildings to keep it tucked away from anti-Catholic vandals, rather than the being in broad view at a busy road junction as it is now. I guess trying to remain hidden to a degree is why it has no tall spire or tower. I did not go into the Cathedral, being an apostate that left Christianity for Neo-Paganism, and feeling somewhat awkward actually in places of Christian worship. I always feel like however beautiful it is, it is sacred to someone else's God, and I don't belong there. 


Lovely lantern towers on a church I spotted across the road
 from the cathedral. Not sure which church, though.



Edinburgh has so many beautiful buildings that I could probably stay there a month and not photograph all of them. I hope my readers don't mind how much I am posting in the way of architectural photography. October is going to be a picture-heavy month, and Gothic and Gothic Revival architecture is going to feature quite prominently. 

One of the fascinating things about cities is how much history every single building and square foot of land has - even newer buildings are often built over older buildings, and in some places you get catacombs as buildings are built over the cellars and sub-basements in increasing levels, with the newest buildings not always having access to their own cellars, I would not be surprised if this is not the case in some parts of Edinburgh; I certainly went to enough buildings where because of topography and various extensions, what is ground floor in one place would be basement to another in the same building - "upper ground floor" and "lower ground floor" being common stops on lifts! I know London has 'lost' underground buildings, some being branches now disconnected of the London Underground Railway, some of them cellars detached from their parent buildings, and some of them parts of old sewerage and drainage systems, and Paris is famous for its catacombs, but I don't know about Edinburgh. If any Edinburgh readers can shed light on this (pardon the pun) then I would be very interested.

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Edinburgh City Part 2: Hanover St. Bank


While Gothic and Gothic Revival styles are my favourite, I don't mind a bit of Neo-Classical architecture now and then. 



These photos happened because I had to sit around and wait on the Saturday. K. and her friend Clark had to get their student bus passes, and I wasn't feeling well, so didn't want to go indoors where it might be stuffy to wait with them. Edinburgh was a lot warmer than Inverness was when I left, and even having taken off my scarf and jacket I was over-heating, plus I did not realise just how crowded central Edinburgh would be on a Saturday afternoon - I am not used to big cities and masses of people, and do not cope well with crowds. I was feeling pressed in and getting faint with the stress and the heat, and had nearly fainted in a heap outside a fast food restaurant on Prince's Street! As such, while K. and Clark sorted there bus ticket, I parked myself under the grand facade of this bank. 




It's currently a bank and a branch of the TSB, but I do wonder what this building was built for. Its temple style make me wonder if it was a Neoclassical chapel of one of the Christian denominations that shied away from the Gothic style for their chapels, or whether it was always a bank and that the severe lines of the Ionic Order were a statement of security, stability and seriousness. Either way, while Neoclassical architecture is not my favourite style, I rather liked this building, and while I waited, took these photographs. 


As I was right up close to the building, sitting on a ledge and trying not move around too much, I have not got any photographs of the building as a whole, but the entire building seems to be of a design quite directly inspired by Classical temples, although the colonnade here is only a portico, rather than supporting a roof and arcade down the sides of the building. The next building down hill also had columns, hence the photographs taken looking down one set of columns to the next in different style. 


I know that usually my architectural photographs are in black and white, but with the stone of this building being such a pale grey anyway, I thought it would be better to take some colour pictures, that and I wanted to capture the fact that it was actually sunny in Scotland (just in case nobody believed me! :P ). The day after the weather went back to cloudy and dreary, so it was short lived, but it was actually sunny for a whole afternoon. 

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Edinburgh City Part 1: Scottish National Portrait Gallery

A few weeks ago, not long after my laptop broke, I went on a weekend trip to Edinburgh. Raven was away in Glasgow for four days, and I had nothing planned for the weekend, so took the opportunity to visit my friend K. in Edinburgh. I had hoped to meet up with my friend Laura from Sheridan's Art while she was on holiday, but she left Edinburgh the same morning I arrived, but a lot earlier than when my coach came in. 

Enough Gothic twiddles to keep me happy!

The ::Scottish National Portrait Gallery:: is on Queen St. and just around the corner from the bus station. I was struck by the beauty of the Gothic Revival building, especially the warm colour of the red sandstone and the statues of various historical figures (K. and I had fun trying to figure out who each of them were). I didn't initially know it was a gallery, and when I spotted the sign, and the big signs advertising an exhibition on Ruskin (who I'm not particularly fond of, especially in light of how he treated the women in his life, but I appreciate his contribution to the Pre-Raphaelite movement) I decided I had to go in.

And this side just faces an alley!

 The interior is even more glorious than the exterior. As a lot of the actual paintings are still in copyright and as special exhibitions areas have photography within them prohibited, I didn't take any photographs of the paintings. I did, however, take photographs of the glorious atrium with its Victorian mural of famous Scottish historic figures. It's a splendid building, glimmering with gilt and brightly coloured. I kept joking with K. that if I ever become a dark queen, my castle of doom will be as well decorated! It's so rich, such a vibrantly painted interpretation of the medieval tradition; I just adore it. My favourite things are the hanging amber lights - I guess they were once candles or gas lights, but even as electric lights they are fabulous!

Gloriously decadent in the Gothic tradition.


I was having fun playing with the saturation.
The exhibitions are informative, well lit (I hate going into galleries and museums where the light is either glaringly bright, or too dim to see anything) and the paintings are, of course, amazing. Best of all, entrance is free, which is important when you've spent most of your money just on coach fare to Edinburgh from Inverness. I did, however, donate a few coins on exiting. I thoroughly recommend it to all visitors to Edinburgh (and any residents who haven't been there already) and I will certainly be returning (probably taking even more photographs of the exterior!).

I must say, when I spend over 4 hours on a coach getting south to Edinburgh, I am strongly reminded of just how far north Inverness actually is, and there is plenty more Scotland even further north! Having traveled so far down on the coach, I really made the most of my trip, so there will be quite a few more photographs of Edinburgh architecture to come! I even went to the castle, partly to gather photographs to show the children at work as the Primary 4 class currently have castles as their topic - I do love it when work and hobbies intersect! 

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Temporary Hiatus

My computer died.

My laptop has unfortunately suffered a mechanical hard-drive failure. Fortunately I have recovered my data before it failed completely, but I am currently without a computer of my own (I am borrowing laptop and internet for this short post) and as such blogging has been on temporary hiatus since the laptop broke and will be until I get proper computer access again, at which point I have a lot to post (as those who follow the associated FaceBook page to this blog already know). While I can borrow computers for brief intervals, this is a) rare and b) not long enough time to create proper posts. As such, I am putting this blog on hiatus until I have enough time to post something decent. 

I've been travelling around Scotland in the meanwhile, so there will be a LOT to post when I get back, including plenty of Gothic and Gothic Revival architecture, Edinburgh Castle and other goodies. 

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Music That Inspires: Choral Music

This is such a broad topic! I've found it very hard to narrow it down to one aspect for this blog, as music is something that permeates my life. Back when my I still had headphones for my iPod, it was something that was pretty much a constant in my life. I studied it up to A Level and play several instruments, and I sing. When I am particularly strapped for cash, I perform as a street musician (a busker) in Inverness with my recorders  and I am very glad to have a talent (turned into something useful by all the hard work and music lessons and the 6hr-a-day practice schedule when I was a teen) that can earn my keep if necessary. 

I also have milder synaesthesia, and for me sounds tend to be accompanied by colours and 'textures' (I 'see' a lot of it as solidified light almost like glass) to the point where when I am composing, I tend to pick things that look good when I shut my eyes, because they invariably sound good too, and even wrote up an entire chart of chords by colours and what they invoke imaginatively to help me in my compositions. 

I didn't want to write about my tastes in stuff like Goth, Darkwave and French Coldwave because I'm pretty sure I've covered various aspects of that on my blog already. Beyond Goth, my tastes in music are quite broad. I thought I would focus on an aspect of my musical life that has inspired me as a Goth while being quite removed from Goth itself. 

I like early ecclesiastical sacred choral works from a variety of traditions, not limited to but including many things from Gregorian chant to Renaissance polyphony, to modern works such as those of John Taverner and Karl Jenkins. 

When I was younger and somewhere between my Christian roots and my Pagan faith, I was rather active in various church choirs and I have been singing from a very young age. I sang in both church choirs and school choirs, but as many of the schools I went to (I moved a lot) were Christian, I still sang mostly sacred music. I have not attended Church for worship service in years, and do not intend to as I am thoroughly Pagan now, but I still attend the occasional concert of sacred music.  Choir holds almost all positive memories for me. I got to a relatively high standard and ended up singing some challenging music in some really beautiful places. 

While the religious content was not always in alignment with my personal faith (and as I grew older, I grew further away from Christianity) there was something about it that connected with me on a very profound and spiritual way. I think there is definitely something spiritually powerful about religious singing, as an act of worship and an act of faith in itself rather than as simply a celebration thereof. There is a lot in the Bible about music, from David's lyre, to the songs of Solomon, to the angels who sing eternal praises in Heaven, and while this is heading off on a tangent that probably deserves its own post, I certainly think that Christianity and other religions that use sacred song (I have some CDs of Buddhist singing, from a period when I was interested in becoming Buddhist), and they have something very precious and definitely inspiring. A few years ago I tried writing some Pagan songs in a similar choral style, but suffered from a lack of people to sing them (I experimented with multi-tracking myself, but it come out very strange!) and so that project was put into indefinite stasis. 

The heavens my imagination transports me to might not be the one I envisioned when I believed in an afterlife in Paradise, but the music still has the power to supremely move me. It also always reminds me of the glorious Gothic architecture of the Chapels, Churches and Cathedrals I have attended for various things from Royal School of Church Music summer-schools at Magdalene College Chapel in Oxford (a building that is truly glorious) to St. Mary's Church on the bridge in Henley-on-Thames with it's Morris-esque murals and beautiful stained glass, to Peterborough Cathedral (which is Gothic on a truly vast scale!) and thus whenever I hear certain pieces I think of certain places and events.

It should be relatively apparent that historic architecture, especially that in the Gothic style, is something that I am really passionate about. With early Gothic literature, the term came about because of the use of settings, and how a lot of those settings were the sorts of buildings I love. To me, I cannot easily separate my experience of those buildings from the music performed in them, the music I performed in them as part of a choir. 

I have a specific fondness for requiems (how stereotypically Gothic of me!) especially the later ones. Later requiems were written more as concert pieces than to be sung at requiem masses, but they are still based around religious texts and sentiments, and as such I'd like to mention a few here. Fauré's requiem with its serene , and is also one of my favourites, then Verdi's with its furious Dies Irae, and Mozart's as well (and the wonderfully Gothic story written about it for the film Amadeus! It's not true, and Sallieri was not driven by obsessive jealousy to murder Mozart by working him to death, but it's a very good story!). I also like Vittoria's 'Missa Pro Defunctis" and "Officium Defunctorum" - his "mass for the dead" and "offices for the dead", the latter of which I heard sung by The Sixteen back in 2006 in Reading. It was  one of those moments when, despite struggling with depression at the time, I managed to unlock the glass box it felt my head was in, and be lost in the music rather than my own thoughts. 

Choral music of various Christian traditions has inspired both my own musical life as a choral singer (I even ran a choir at the school I work at until my chronic illness made in untenable) and also as an artist and poet and photographer as glorious music mixes with beautiful colour and light in a synaesthesic mix in my head, and always evokes a sense of wonder, sacredness and a belief that there is a Divine and glorious presence in the universe, even if to me the heavens are the literal heavens of space full of stars, nebulae and very real glorious light, and to me, a pantheist, the Divine is inherently manifest through reality. When I shut my eyes and sit on the bare earth and feel the boundaries between what is me and what is everything else dissolve and meditate, there's a similar sense of awesome, brilliant, glorious something that I touched when I was singing psalms, evensongs, hymns, masses and oratorios. 

My Musical Pick
There is some overlap with my tastes in more Goth music; some of my favourite pieces by Dead Can Dance are the ones where multi-tracking has been used to create a choral effect, but the songs they sing have words of Lisa Gerrard's glossolalia rather the Latin texts various masses and offices. I think that same sense of light and glory that is forever intangible that I got when listening to choral concerts in Oxford collegiate chapels and grand Gothic cathedrals is what inspired Host of The Seraphim with its vocals that seem to soar ever upwards in plaintive chant over a very minimal (electric?) organ and distant strings. It reminds me of how psalms are traditionally sung with the chords changing according to the text, rather than the text made to fit the melody (think Alleghri's 'Miserere mei, Deus'). To me, Host of the Seraphim is like watching angels come and go, filing past out of view and into nothing but beautiful light.