My personal blog as a 'grown-up' Goth and Romantic living in the Highlands of Scotland. I write about the places I go, the things I see and my thoughts on life as a Goth and the subculture, and things in the broader realm of the Gothic and darkly Romantic. Sometimes I write about music I like and sometimes I review things. This blog often includes architectural photography, graveyards and other images from the darker side of life.

Goth is not just about imitating each other, it is a creative movement and subculture that grew out of post-punk and is based on seeing beauty in the dark places of the world, the expression of that in Goth rock. It looks back to the various ways throughout history in which people have confronted and explored the macabre, the dark and the taboo, and as such I'm going to post about more than the just the standards of the subculture (Siouxsie, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus, et al) and look at things by people who might not consider themselves anything to do with the subculture, but have eyes for the dark places. The Gothic should not be limited by what is already within it; inspiration comes from all places, the key is to look with open eyes, listen carefully and think with an open mind..

Sunday, 8 December 2019

Study/Studio Re-Decoration Part 2: Book-Nook

In my much earlier post about decorating my study ::here:: I showed some pictures of it with lighter purple walls, and vinyl decals of Gothic architecture. I felt the bright purple was a bit too kitsch, and was having doubts about the vinyl decals. As such, I became motivated to re-decorate, firstly by removing the decals and re-painting the room a darker purple, and then by adding new flooring (finally!) and screening my meditation area/book-nook with  curtains. There is quite a lot to cover, so I am splitting this between several posts. The previous post ::here:: was about my gallery/display wall.
Sensory Space
My Book-Nook has been a part of the study/studio design plan right from the start. It's probably the most 'Hippie' rather than Goth corner, despite the dark purple walls and black furniture. Its purpose is to provide a quiet reading and chill-out space for me.

I have Asperger's with sensory processing disorder, and one of the most difficult symptoms to manage is sensory overload. To mitigate this, I have deliberately created a calming sensory space. It is important that it is dark, with muted colours, because one of the major ways in which I get overstimulated is through too many bright lights, garish colours, etc. (envisage a supermarket or mall full of bright shop lighting - that will affect me badly, for example). I can gradually increase the light to reading level by using string-lights for dim light, then using the ::Klevercase:: Harry Potter book-shaped reading light (bought in a sale!), or turning on a stand light that is just outside the Book-Nook.

Double mesh curtains filters any glare from the window, and also adds a little sound insulation, although it is a quiet corner of the house, anyway, away from things like the kitchen and bathroom which might have noise. Loud noises and noisy environments are also very difficult for me. I can again gradually increase my sound exposure by putting calming music on with head-phones, or from my computer speakers. I find urban environemnts far too loud for me a lot of the time - too much traffic, all the H.V.A.C systems on buildings, the sounds of people, sirens, etc. all become quite overwhelming (especially traffic noise trapped between the hard surfaces of buildings so it becomes almost an indistinct rushing noise...). It's one of the reasons I moved to somewhere rural, and I am sad about how much busier and more developed where I live is becoming.

I also have to recharge after socialising because the constant analysis and 'masking' required for me to function socially is quite exhausting, so this space provides a retreat and recharge space for that. Having this space is very important to me avoiding meltdowns, especially as I have to try and hold everything in when I'm out and about, so that release when I get home can sometimes be a gush as the dam breaks if I'm not careful.

Meditation Space
I have a half-height book-case that I use for university books (not all of them; they don't all fit!) in there, and originally I was using the top of the book-case for photo-frames. I took down the photo-frames for two reasons; firstly I wanted a more permanent set-up for my personally altar, and secondly I haven't got around to having prints done to fill all of the frames. I don't have many photographs of friends of family, and this is something I want to work on - mostly printing out photographs I've taken myself. When I do fill all the frames, I'm going to put them on the radiator cover (more on that later). 

Darker purple wall with moon mirrors and stencilling.  Gothic fairy.
Photo-frames with pictures of my Dad and Uncle. Dragon frame will be for Raven
I apologise for the quality of some of the photographs; where I have used the camera on my mobile phone the photographs are grainy and poor resolution, where I have used the camera on Raven's phone, the pictures are crisp and better quality.

One addition to my study has been replacing the photographs on top of one of the book-cases with a new iteration of my meditation altar/personal devotion altar. As it is on a book-case, and therefore effectively on a space that is more shelf-shaped than table-shaped, the arrangement of the altar is necessarily elongated.  I like having somewhere quiet and tucked away I can practice privately without interruptions. The book-nook area is behind curtains, so it is even more secluded than my study, which itself has a door onto the upstairs hallway. There's no window facing directly onto the book-nook, so it is probably the most private corner of the house - perfect for not being disturbed while I'm meditating, as well as perfect for reading in peace. I am somewhat reclusive by nature, so hiding myself away in a corner is my idea of heaven. It's a little inner-sanctum in my house, a corner that is just for me.

These are some pictures from early September of my altar set up - I will show some more recent ones later one, so keep reading for those.

Personal Meditation Altar
The two 'pink' candles are actually more of a fuchsia purple, slightly darker and bluer than fuchsia pink, however they look quite pink once lit - they are hand-dipped candles bought from The Maker's Mark in Newcastle Emlyn/Castell Newydd Emlyn in Wales. It is a fabulous wee shop, and whenever I'm in Wales, I try and make trip especially to that shop. The lavender jar-candle is one I made myself from the reclaimed scraps of candles I have burned at my altar in the past - the stubs of so many white tea-lights diluting the purples and blacks I have often used. As has been mentioned in other posts, I am now buying beeswax or soy candles, and this jar-candle of recycled paraffin wax stubs is the last of the paraffin wax used on an altar. I'm phasing out paraffin wax altogether, burning through the last of my stash of tealights, and replacing them mostly with beeswax.  More recently, I have been buying rolled beeswax hand-made 'dinner' size candles. I will probably make a blog post all about candles in the near future.  One of my main candle suppliers is ::Sweet Little Candle Company:: because of the variety of sizes and colours.

Close-up of my chalice, two spell pouches, the box for my Black Book and
candle-holders, pentagram plaque
The black and purple pentagram plaque was bought on eBay, it is hand-made, and I am not sure if it is secondhand, or made by the seller. It was originally gold and black, but I repainted the pentacle purple to better fit in with my décor, using some purple nail-varnish to get a high-gloss and durable finish. The moon shaped glass tea-light holder was second-hand on eBay and it was only £1 (excluding postage). The stack of skulls resin ornament is just there to weigh down the altar cloth, because it was quite light and sheer and kept sliding off the gloss-painted book-case. Not that long after this, some falling incense burnt a hole through the altar cloth, so I have replaced it (pictures further below). 

Contextual image of my Book-Nook. Some colour distortion on right side.
Corner shelves on left have travelled with me since I lived in England!
There are stars stencilled all along the upper edges of my walls. I bought the stencils on eBay for £4.99 from a shop called 'The Stencilist' which is no longer on eBay. I also got an individual star-burst mylar stencil for £2.99 from Stencil Zone. All the stars were sponged on with acrylic paints, with a mixture of gold and silver acrylic used in the Book-Nook to give a shimmer effect. The mixed paint isn't quite as fun as colour-shift paint, but it does have an interesting mottled look, and how gold or silver they look depends a lot on the lighting conditions.

I did the abstract painting in the middle - it is an acrylic pour painting done with metallic paints with colours inspired by the Aurora Borealis. I live north enough to see the Aurora from my house sometimes, although often the weather is too cloudy to get a proper look. At the time of writing this, the painting is part of an exhibition I am in at the Inverness Museum And Gallery (ground floor, in the Room to Discover), and I've replaced it with a large moon mirror. 

Large moon mirror. Photo taken during full moon ritual. Purple lantern reflection
I think the moon mirrors are made in Indonesia - one is certainly labelled as such (the smallest one), and I think as they are all so similar, that they are likely all made in the same place. I have three on this wall, an oval one on the side of the book-case, and a matching carved wooden wind-chime hanging over my window. All of the moon mirrors were bought secondhand, mostly on eBay. The large one was £3.95, the small one £3 and the medium one £3.73, all from different sellers, and excluding postage and packaging.* I think these moon mirrors might be made as tourist souvenirs, as it is relatively common to see them turn up second-hand. I haven't seen this specific sort of thing in import shops catering to the hippie demographic (like FarFetched in Inverness) but that is also a possibility. I display them because of the religious significance of the moon to me as a Neo-Pagan Witch. My meditation altar is where I do my moon-phase devotions, so there is a lot of moon iconography on that altar. I see a lot of similar mirrors on sale from American eBay sellers, but I can't afford postage and customs from America. I don't often buy things new, so wouldn't know where to look for one new. 


Current collection of round moon mirrors, two with coronas, all three purple.
Stylistically all very similar: carved wood with a similar style of painting,
thin eyebrows, soft gradients of colour, three stars and similarly drawn eyes.
As I mentioned above, I recently got a new altar cloth. It's always a risk having incense or candles near fabric, and unfortunately some smouldering bits fell off a joss stick, and landed on the layered altar cloth over a rather more flammable plastic-based synthetic lace skull table-cloth I'd been using to keep my books less dusty, and a hole, rather noticeable, got burned into both of them. I've ditched the Hallowe'en table cloth idea entirely, and I'm going to make a curtain for the books that is under the lip of the top of the book-case, so less likely to come in contact with anything falling from incense on my altar. It is good that I was right there when it happened; this sort of thing happening unattended could start a fire. Always think of fire-risk if you use candles, incense or any other naked flame or source of ignition in your spiritual practice. Witch-burning is a bad thing!

New altar cloth, beeswax candles, candle-sticks, witchy boxes, etc.
Ash next to incense burner rolled there once very much extinguished, and because
I was faffing about with re-arrangement; it did not land on my new altar cloth.
I want to mention the candle-holders. Both the two small ones and the two taller ones are from charity shops. The two taller ones are the first altar candlesticks I ever bought, back when I lived in England, probably back in 2002 or 2003. I had misplaced one for a while, so they weren't on my altar because I don't like asymmetry.  I try and source as much of my stuff secondhand as possible; there's no reason to spend a whole heap of money to put together an altar, or even to have intresting decor. I see a lot of expensive stuff being sold to the Pagan community and also to the Goth community and it's frustrating when I see people who feel like they NEED to have all these expensive things to be a proper Witch, or to keep up with all the Instagram Goths or Instagram witches,(of which technically I am one of both, so look me up at @domesticatedgoth that is where I put all of these photographs before they went up on here) and you don't need to spend a lot of money or have whatever item is trending on Instagram to be valid. Have a good rummage in a charity shop/thrift shop, look on eBay, Depop, your local sales group, etc. etc. There's plenty of very reasonably priced items out there, and they are often more unusual and unique than what is mass-produced.

*I exclude postage and packaging fees from all eBay prices because it is something that will be so variable depending on location. Many sellers offer direct collection, which is very useful if you live in a large urban area with lots of eBay sellers, but I live in the Scottish Highlands, so not only do I rarely have anyone nearby selling, I also have to contend with a surcharge on deliveries sometimes, something I feel is deeply unfair as I still live on the mainland and we are serviced by a proper road and rail network. I am not on an island! It does not take a ferry or plane to deliver me post!. Also, a lot of sellers have a 'doesn't post to Scottish Highlands' issue. It's a pet peeve of mine - we're not as remote and isolated as people think.

Study/Studio Re-Decoration Part 1: Feature Wall

In a much earlier post ::here::, my study had bright purple walls, vinyl decals, etc. I felt it was too kitschy for my current tastes, and started redecorating. It has been a slow process, as decorating is costly, and there are other parts of our house that have needed our attention more urgently. The room isn't finished yet, but it's pretty close. As it's quite a complicated, multi-purpose room. 

Featuring the Wall
My feature wall, also termed a 'display-wall' or 'gallery-wall' is probably the part of my study that most embodies the aesthetic that I am aiming for with my study. It was initially a black wall with silver Valspar glitter for some sparkle. I repainted it after the initial surface got scuffed up by me reposition the pictures, knocking it with furniture etc. For the repaint, I wanted to have a slightly green colour, partly to balance the purple walls, and partly because I just like green. I couldn't find the shade that I wanted in the range my local DIY shop carried, and I had tried some testers, so I bought another of a more neutral black tester I liked and mixed it with a black that was more like a very dark blue-green and blended the two at home with more glitter to get a colour that I liked. The glitter shimmers somewhat green, rather than silver, because of the green dye. Yes, I am that finnicky! 

The display wall 
My collection of frames are mostly from TK Maxx and Dunelm Mill, bought before I decided to drastically reduce my purchase of new items. The moon painting that I did was professionally framed by Riverside Gallery in Inverness, and the large mirror with the swirly frame was bought second-hand in in Inverness' PDSA branch. I like the silver gilt finish on these different frames because quite a few have some texture to them, more than just a metallic finish. Some of them also have some dark dry-brushing in the cervices, or a wash - things to make them have a little more life on them. I think things like texture, some variance in colour, etc. quite helpful for making the arrangement more dimensional and interesting. They're not all the same silver, not the same level of metallic finish, they're diverse, but also - hopefully - harmonious too. These ones were bought like that, but in our bedroom I've repainted and varnished frames to try and get the same concept.

Very terrible photograph of my wall with bad lighting (and wonky stars).
Terrible grainy photos are what happen when I take photos on my own phone.
I managed to align the dado rail along the bottom of the photograph, but because of perspective distortion, lens distortion, etc. there's more slope along the top of the pictures than real life, however the wonky stars are all my own fault; I haven't got the black paint all the way up to the ceiling partly because I can't reach up and partly because I know that along the top there will be cornice, however unfortunately I didn't leave that gap evenly, and I matched the stars to the wonky edge instead of the ceiling. I regret this. I will stencil in some more high up stars at the right edge, and more low stars at the left end and try and level this out. I will wait until I have the coving up, however, so I have a good visual straight edge to match things up to. It's really important to have a good visual marker, especially when you're dealing with something big and you're painting up close. Also, it will never be truly straight when working in a building like mine, and I need to give the visual illusion of straightness when the walls and ceilings aren't straight. 

Antique sword. Also a close-up of the wallpaper and the orb string-lights. 
I collect bladed weapons - what I really like are swords (there is another one in my study) but I have a couple of knives. I would like more fine daggers, especially antiques. Currently I don't have the income to collect antiques right now. I have considered selling off some of my collection because of financial situation, but there are complex laws about blade sales in Scotland so I'm keeping them, plus I remember how much work I put into saving up to buy them in the first place. There's something fascinating about the history behind objects: for example, the sword pictured is Italian, I think from the 1870s, perhaps later, and while it is displayed in its scabbard, there are beautiful engravings - somewhat scuffed - that tells a bit about the military background of the sword, and it also has dings along the spine of the blade that look like it may well have actually used in a sword-fight, or at least in defence of another bladed weapon (the context could be all sorts of things!). I also think it fascinating how much beauty and art that is often invested in embellishing what is primarily a weapon. I am interested in H.E.M.A, used to do modern sport fencing, as well having had a few kendo lessons, so I have an interest from a historical swordsmanship perspective, too. I think a lot of people think it's creepy, or that I have some murderous intent - I joke that I'd never use my collection to stab anyone because they're too precious to get blood on (true, honestly. Even skin oils are bad for them!) and 'creepy' is a subjective judgement. These are art objects to me, even if that is not what they were made as - but they were made with craft, care, and creative skill.

I repainted this moon. The camera angle is really awkward.
Good camera because I used Raven's phone instead of my own... 
Moon iconography is a prevalent in my study - mostly in my near my Book-Nook and meditation space because one of my ways of remaining in tune with nature is doing devotions according to the lunar cycle at the meditation altar in my Book-Nook. My next blog post will have more details about my Book-Nook. This particular ornament was bought as a yellow glossy moon with the slogan "Sleep tight, sweet dreams through the night" painted on it, so I repainted it to fit in better with my study décor. The original ornament was £1.50 on eBay. I tried to make it a slightly adorable sleepy moon. It's hung up just by the entrance to the Book-Nook. 

Sword, mirrors, picture frames, art. 

I have, since these pictures were taken, got more pictures, and pictures I like better, to fill the frames. I'm aiming for more fine-art prints, as well as my own artwork. It is an ongoing process, but having the frames first means I can arrange the wall and then find pictures to fit on the wall, which I find is easier than when I have had the pictures first and then tried to find a place for them (situation with our living room). A lot of the prints are repurposed greetings cards and I'm eyeing up some Caspar David Friedrich and Salvator Rosa postcards.

The moon-phase banner was a Winter Solstice gift from Raven. He bought it for me from someone on Etsy and I have been asked on Instagram where it is from, but unfortunately he can't remember where. The moon-phase garland along the top was from SpookyBox Club when I was subscribed, and I painted and assembled it myself. 

Moon phase banner. 
I think the picture above is pretty useful for illustrating how the curtains tie together the aesthetic for the main area of the study/studio. and screens off the Book-Nook. I am not always proud of my decorating decisions, and often it takes more than one go to create what I visualise in my head, or for me to realise that what I visualised doesn't work out so well in real life, but I really like how the damask voile curtains go with the wallpaper and monochrome wall. Also, this is possibly the only photograph I have with the stand-lamp in it.

Terrible, terrible photo; why I'm part-exchanging my phone for a better one.
If you can see anything at all, it's an old photo of the Book Nook before the altar
I will be doing a few more posts about this room specifically, and then more about specific projects, especially furniture repaints. I will also chart more of decorating the rest of the house, although not all of the house is in a particularly Gothic aesthetic, so I will be focusing on the more Gothic-looking rooms. As you can probably tell from the square photographs, most of these pictures are or were on Instagram, where my accounts are @domesticatedgoth for this sort of content and @architecturallygothic for ruins, cathedrals, churches, monuments, and other spooky or pretty buildings. 

Thursday, 31 October 2019

Samhain/Samhuinn: Our Home Altar

A statue of Badb, made by Nemesis Now. It has large black out-stretched wings, and is wearing a long flowing black robe. It is entirely black. The statue is placed on a stand draped with an altar-cloth that is black with white pentacles. It is against a white wall with green paneling at the bottom and white dado rail. The statue is candle-lit. The image is taken looking from the left across the statue, with the paneling and dado-rail giving an indication of the angle of the wall relative to the camera, as it runs diagonally from the bottom left third of the image to the upper right. The image is square. The points of the crown worn by a resin skull are visible on the far side of the statue.
Statue of Badb
Samhuinn is a complex holiday - an old one, but one that has changed many times over the centuries, and the Neo-Pagan version is in many ways as different from the historical version as the contemporary commercial version of Hallowe'en. For a historically informed account of the British calendar of festivals, I suggest looking at Prof. Ronald Hutton's book 'The Stations of the Sun' which is very educational and well-researched. While I draw from historical traditions, I don't emulate them entirely, and I don't strictly follow the rituals for Samhain of Wicca or any other Neo-Pagan groups that use the Gardner-Nichols eight-fold year; in this respect I'm somewhat eclectic.

There are two specific and distinct aspects of Samhuinn for me; one is the aspect of ancestor worship, paying respects to the honoured dead, and contemplating both familial and ideological ancestors, and the other is seeing Samhuinn as the start of the Dead Time until the Winter Solstice, where light and lengthening days return. I don't think there's any historical precedent for the concept of the Dead Time, but I've seen similar ideas in other Neo-Pagan writing, although it doesn't seem that ubiquitous. 

The top two skulls of a stack of three resin skulls, large at the base, medium in the middle, and smaller at the top. They are much smaller than human skulls. To the left of the image is a silver-plated candle-stick covered in wax drips of various colours holding a black candle with a silver damask design on it. In the background is a leaf-green paneled wall with white dado rail. It is a close-up image. The image is dark and candle-lit.
Skulls on the altar

For most people reading this, some concept of ancestral practice will already be familiar, so I won't explain that in too much depth, especially as that isn't something represented on this altar. Effectively, the ancestral practice is about reaffirming the link between those in the present and those who came before both in terms of being mindful and thinking about them, and in terms of reinforcing a spiritual connection at a time when the boundaries between this world and the Otherworld are particularly thin, which will have different connotations depending on personal beliefs as to the nature of the afterlife/afterlives, whether they believe in reincarnation or not, etc. I personally do believe in reincarnation, but other Neo-Pagans and Reconstructionalists have different concepts of an after-life with different ideas about how fixed after-life states can be.

An altar with several tall black dinner candles in grey ceramic holders. The base altar cloth is black with white pentacles. On the left side of the altar is a statue of the Goddess Badb with black out-stretched wings and black robes. Beside the statue of Badb there is a black stone dish of white salt with a raised pentagram in the dish. At the front of the altar is a wand carved roughly from oak. On the left side of the altar is a large, life-size resin skull with a crown, being used as a candle-holder for melting white candle. In the center of the altar there is a wooden stand with a blood-red damask brocade cloth on it; on the stand is a bronze-effect resin statue of the Morrigan with great wings rising up behind her, and at the feet of the statue there are two pewter Celtic knotwork/insular interlace design candle-holders for tealights, a pair of lit tea-lights are in them casting a soft glow across the statue. At the base of the stand is a greetings card for Samhain with red and black artwork depicting crows and the Morrigan. The altar is infront of a white wall with green paneling with white dado-rail. On the wall are a plaque of the Green Man and a female equivalent 'green woman' as a wall-pocket. The image is candle-lit. At the very left edge of the image a green candle is visible
Samhuinn 2018. 
In the past I have had a more Morrígan based Samhuinn altar set up - the one from 2018 is pictured, with my victorious Morrígan/Macha statue centrally, on a pedestal clad in red (a colour associated with the Morrigan, being the colour of blood) brocade cloth. Badb is on the left, hard to make out in these darker pictures as all the candle-flames are above Her statue. In front of the cloth-covered pedestal is a Samhain card with overt iconography of the Morrígan that stays permanently the rest of the year at my multi-aspect shrine to the Morrígan on the mantle-piece. I now focus more on Badb as a psychopomp than on the victorious war-Goddess aspect of the MorríganThe crowned skull is on the right, my best approximation at the time of (Brythonic/Welsh deity rather than Goidelic/Gaelic deity) Arawn, King of the Underworld/Otherworldv (in Gaelic mythology, who is King of the Otherworld changes, and each King serves a term, in Brythonic mythology Arawn is the constant King)
. 
A photograph of 2019's Samhuinn altar taken from an oblique angle. At the left of the altar is a stack of three resin skulls, at the right of the altar is a large resin skull, approximately life-size, which is crowned and the crown serves as a candle-holder for a large-ish white candle. In the centre of the image is a stand with a black altar-cloth with white pentacles, upon which is a black resin statue of the Goddess Badb with flowing black robes and large out-stretched wings. At the front of the stand is a purple card with a sigil on it. At the front of the altar is a small black skull-shaped candle-holder with ornament and in-set glass containing a light grey tealight. The base altar-cloth is silver, black and grey - a scarf with a woven leaf pattern. At the right side of the altar is an athame dagger with a brass leaf-shaped blade and a wooden handle.
Samhuinn altar 2019 - note the lack of a statue of the Morrigan

My altar for 2019 is blacker than the previous one, with a grey and black scarf at the base and the black and white pentacle altar cloth moved to Badb's pedestal. I wanted the altar to be sombre, funereal, a memento mori. Bloodshed isn't really the sort of death I want the altar to represent, more for it to be reflective, to be a place to contemplate our own mortality and the finite time all things have, as well as the cyclical nature of things. 

Next year I would like to incorporate my figure of an Ankou - a type of psychopomp spirit, very much like the Grim Reaper, but also like a Dullahan in some ways - a corpse (skeletal, usually, but sometimes as an undead old man) that drives a cart or wagon. Like a Dullahan, an Ankou is not a personification of death, or a death deity, but a psychopomp spirit that is subordinate to Death itself. There are various different stories about who became an Ankou and why. The Ankou figure I have is hand-made clay, quite simply designed, and is also a cone-incense burner, where the incense smoke comes out from under the hood, and he holds a 'soul' (a greenish marble). 

An altar with two silver and black damask candles at either side, a stack of three pewter-coloured resin skulls on the left of the image, a black dish of white salt with a pentagram as part of the stone dish on the left of the image, a life-size silvery resin skull with a crown on the right side of the image. The base altar cloth is silver, grey and black. There is a stand in the middle covered in a black altarcloth with white pentagrams, in front of the stand is a purple card with a sigil on it, and on the stand is a figure of Badb with black out-stretched wings and black robes. At the bottom right of the image, there is a brass-bladed athame dagger with a leaf-shaped blade and a wooden hilt. At the very front of the altar is an ornate black skull-shaped candle-holder containing a grey tealight. All the candles are lit. The altar is in front of a white wall with leaf-green paneling and a white dado rail. The image is candle-lit.
Samhuinn altar, frontal view. 

I would also like to put a representation of The Cailleach on my altar next year, as she is the Gaelic (especially Scottish) Goddess of the winter, who spreads her cloak of snow across the hills, and we get ice and snow from November through to February in varying amounts (it's actually between Winter Solstice and Imbolc that we get the most snow, and there's sometimes still snow on the hills in April and May!). Samhuinn marks the transition between autumn and the depths of winter. In the last decade, it's been noticeably wetter, warmer and less snowy in the Highlands, a result of climate change; putting a representation of the Cailleach on my altar will also be a reminder of what we as a species are doing to our planet. 

The purple card at the front of the altar has a sigil a friend within our Open Circle designed to reflect our group being connected, even though we couldn't actually meet up on Samhuinn for a ritual this year due to clashing schedules.  

As I am Goth, it is very easy for me to decorate my altar for this holy-day of death, as skulls and black fabric are part of my normal household decor for other parts of our home. As a Gothic person, I probably contemplate mortality and death more than the average person, and have a fascination with the macabre, which I think makes it easier for me to connect with this holiday in the abstract sense, rather than as grieving or honouring anyone specific, although some of my deceased family that I knew as well as ancestors who died before I was born and the historical people who have inspired and influenced me are honoured elsewhere. 

Monday, 23 September 2019

Mabon/Autumn Equinox: Our Home Altar


The Autumn Equinox is easy to explain; it is the point halfway between the longest and shortest days, when day and night are equal. Mabon is a little more complicated. Calling the Autumnal Equinox 'Mabon' is an innovation of Aidan Kelly; while Ostara and Lammas were part of the Anglo-Saxon calendar, and Beltane, Samhain, Imbolc and Lughnasadh were part of the Celtic calendar, and the two Solstices were parts of lots of calendars (including most famously that of the prehistoric megalithic architects), Mabon is more enigmatic. 

The Anglo-Saxon calendar is complicated, with lunar months orientated by solar markers, and the closest historical analog to Neo-Pagan 'Mabon' is what still remains as British Harvest Festival - a moveable feast on the first full moon after the Equinox (it is likely Ostara, or 'Eostre' was also on a full moon next to the vernal Equinox). It was not called 'Mabon; as mentioned, that is a modern innovation naming the Equinox festival after the Welsh/Brythonic deity/mythological figure of the same name. Effectively, in a Neo-Pagan context, it is a second harvest festival - one based around fruits as Lughnasadh/Lammas is the agrarian harvest, and among other things, Samhain/Samhuinn historically involved the slaughter of livestock (for those reading about that for the first time; we don't do animal sacrifice, and historically it was about slaughtering livestock for winter meat). 

Raven's jian sword in the corner, and the right side of our altar
The altar-cloth is orange tie-die, with a leafless tree on it -I think this is a suitable autumnal scene. Unusually, I did not layer my altar-cloths, but this was simply out of forgetting; I had intended to use a purple scarf under it, but I just didn't remember until I had started putting all the rest of the items on it, and did not want to take them off. Perhaps a touch lazy... 

Our Mabon altar, front view. 
I have discussed the pentagram candle-holder in my previous blogs on the Wheel of the Year. The incense burner is a pentacle, but it only has three out of five possible incense sticks. My athame with the leaf-shape blade is a brass letter opener salvaged from a building that was to be demolished. The wand is oak, and was carved for me by a friend. The oil burner has a pentacle on it too - I love how it glows amber through the stone itself when it is lit. I felt  the round shape and warm colours were reminiscent of a fruit, which is why I selected this specific oil-burner. The offerings are self-evident, each in a dish purchased from a charity shop. The round plate is hand-made. I'm missing the lid for the cabbage-shaped jar (which ended up with nuts in it).

Chalice and fruit in front of pentagram candleholder
I really enjoy the replacement chalice; it feels very earthy - technically all ceramics are earthy in that they are made of clay, but being earthenware, glazed brown, and chunky makes this feel very organic and natural. It really makes me happy to find all this nature-themed crockery in my local charity shops. The grapes are in a dish shaped like an autumn leaf, too! The chalice concept is from Wicca, where chalices are used for the symbolic Great Rite, where a phallic athame and round receptacle symbolise the genitive process, and for the 'cakes and ale' (shared consumption of food and drink as community bonding) - however, I am not Wiccan, and don't adhere to the fertility model that emphasises sexual reproduction as metaphorical for natural fecundity; nature's mating habits are far too peculiar - from parthenogenesis in stick insects to pregnant male sea-horses, to entire forests where trailing mycelium connects every patch of honey-fungus, nature is rather broader than the habits of mammals. Communal eating from the same plate is one thing, but for group rituals there's a common pitcher and separate glasses for hygiene reasons. My chalice is for eating and drinking as part of the grounding process after completing the main body of ritual, a way to maintain a mindset in the material after meditation, trance and the like. A chunky goblet is useful for not being easily broken by my dyspraxic self.

Apples and grapes to consume as part of the ritual,
and also give as offerings to the birds
Fruit was store-bought; my back garden is a work in progress and doesn't produce fruits, plus I am likely too far north for grapes. Crab apples grow locally, and my garden is more sheltered than my father's small holding on a Welsh hillside that produces a good crop of apples, but our last attempt at an apple tree ended with a sapling that did not survive winter.

I hope you have found this blog article informative. I intend to post in depth about Samhain/Samhuinn and Yule too.

Thursday, 1 August 2019

Lughnasadh/Lammas: Our Home Altar

Lughnasadh and Lammas are two names for holiday between Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox on the 1st of August. The name 'Lughnasadh' relates to Lugh, the Irish deity and 'Lammas' is an Anglo-Saxon term for the 'loaf mass'. They were two different celebrations as Gaelic and Germanic cultures were different, although they had similarities.

In the Gaelic festival, it was a festival of the god Lugh (the name literally means 'Lugh's gathering'), in memory of his foster-mother Tailitu, or in modern Irish Gaelic 'Tailte', who died from exhaustion in clearing the plains of Ireland for agricuture. The modern Scottish Gaelic word for both the festival and the month of August is Lùnastal. Traditionally it was a day for sporting events, as well as feasting. I have my own interpretation of Tailte and the sacrifice of the wild order of things to agricultural order of things, but that is a topic for another blog entry, maybe next Lùnastal.

Lammas comes from 'hlaf-mas' in the Germanic language of the Anglo-Saxons, the loaf-mass, and a harvest festival, the first, celebrating the wheat (grain) harvest. In what is now England, according to dark-ages Christian syncretism, a loaf blessed at this festival was thought to have beneficial properties.

Green painted paneled wall with white dado-rail. Leaf-green curtains of synthetic satin. The altar-cloth is yellow, and on it are two gold place-mats with La Tène style designs, a pentagram candle-holder, an earthenware chalice, a pentacle dish with salt, a gold candle in an earthenware dish, two white soy taper candles in off-white candle-sticks, and a loaf of home-made bread
The Lammas altar, with home-made bread from Raven! 
I am living far enough North that even with climate change and milder weather, the fields aren't always harvested already by the actual August 1st date of Lammas; it is important to note that English summers are much warmer (these days often reaching 30C, sometimes quite a bit above that), and especially in Southern England where I grew up, things are harvested earlier. The thing to note about any agricultural calendar is that it will vary according to local conditions, and the Neo-Pagan version of the Wheel of the Year is effectively an adapted mixture of Germanic, Celtic and solar agricultural calendars. Another thing of note for Neo-Pagan celebrations in comparison to historical festivals on this date is that before the industrial revolution, a LOT more people were involved in farming, and mixed livestock and agrarian farms were more common than modern farming where farms often specialise in one type of produce. Even amongst Neo-Pagans who garden for food, few will actually be growing grains themselves, as the land required to cultivate enough grain to make something is usually more than those who don't actually farm have. (I have one patch of something that's probably rye from where some bird-seed was scattered by accident, but it's barely big enough to make a corn-dolly or Brigid's cross!). This leaves a question: what do agrarian harvest festivals mean to a contemporary Pagan?

The most obvious thing is that while we may not individually grow wheat (or barley, rye, oats, rice etc.), most of us consume them. There is now a complex industry that grows, mills, and bakes, and that industry massively impacts the planet. Remember Tailte? In medieval myth she was a queen, but this is likely the mythological reinterpretation of a deity from a Christianised perspective, as a Goddess that dies so that the wilderness may be cleared for agriculture to flourish, she seems like someone very relevant to a time when we're becoming increasingly aware that human intervention needs to be in balance with the natural world, and also the awareness that with all forms of agriculture, some things must die so that what we want to eat my thrive; even organic farms require pest management.

To me, it is an important time to give thanks to all the people who work hard so that we get to eat, to conveniently buy food from shops (although I'm slowly trying turn my back garden into a vegetable garden!), and to especially think about the impact of agrarian farming, good and bad. Nothing in this world can be fairly glosses into simple generalisations, and it is a good time to look at those complexities, to reflect on how to be more compassionate and ethical as shoppers, thinking of both the ecological impact of what we buy, and the impact on the people who grow things, thinking of the governmental policies that help and hinder farmers, and help and hinder the environment, about the careful nuances and balances that need to be made so we can support people whose livelihoods are about feeding us, and simultaneously support the planet that sustains us.

[It is interesting that the first Eco-Village in Wales to usher in the One Planet Development system is called 'Lammas' and that the local planning rules say that the inhabitants needed to have sustainable land-based enterprises.]

In more symbolic terms, it's the first harvest festival, and like Mabon (where we also celebrate the metaphorical fruits of our labour alongside the literal ones), it's a time to celebrate out achievements (personally, I think it's a good time to celebrate sporting achievements, especially). 



Now I have introduced what Lughnasadh and Lammas are, I will describe and explain the altar I built to celebrate it. The most obvious thing on the altar is the large pentagram candle-holder. Pentacles and pentagrams are the primary symbols of Wicca, but I am not really Wiccan any more - however, their symbolism in Wicca is a representation of the five Classical elements, which I do not take literally as elementals, but use as a framework to appreciate the natural (and sometimes arteficial) world - whereas traditional Wiccans invoke the 5 elements, or the Watchtowers, often as literal elemental spirits, for each element I write a paragraph about those things in the natural world - eg. writing about how I can see the sea/firth from the top of the hill, hear the nearby stream, feel the rain that falls, etc. for Water, talking about the stones of the mountains, the quarried stones of the local architecture, the earth in my garden, etc. for Earth, the flames of my fire-pit and the warmth of the sun for Fire, the breeze the rustles the leaves, the breath of my meditation, etc. for Wind, and the energy of the ritual itself, my soul, and that of every living thing for Spirit or Energy, etc. I like this framework, it's a good starting point for thinking about things around me, a set of arbitrary categories that make a good format for reflection.

Another thing that's likely obvious, especially from the first photograph, is that the altar is full of gold and yellow - a bright yellow altar-cloth with two golden-yellow napkins with the sort of spiraling circular art that spans the cultures broadly categorised under the umbrella of 'Celtic' from La Tène metal-work to the Book of Kells, a golden candle in a dish that is glazed from olive to almost amber like the shades of ripening corn, and although it is hard to see in the photographs because the brightness makes them appear white, the tealight candles are yellow beeswax. Yellow is a colour associated with agrarian harvests, from fields of ripe wheat and barley, to yellow maize. It is also associated with the sun, something the god Lugh is also associated with (although he is not a direct parallel of Apollo, there is a reason he was often associated with him in 19thC late-Romantic thinking; they are both associated with the arts, poetry, athleticism, light, and truth).

The main feature of this Lughnasadh/Lammas altar is a loaf of home-made bread baked by Raven. He has been experiementing with different types of bread, inclding trying to make gluten-free bread that's still crusty, and this is his most recent attempt at the latter. Eating this bread was an important part of our ritual. 

New chalice!
I have a new chalice! I picked it up in a charity shop, and it was either £1.50 or £2.50; either way not much. I liked that it is ceramic - earthenware - and that the abstracted dark designs in the glaze remind me of ravens. It is a wine-goblet, so food-safe unlike some of the decorative metal chalices that exist. My previous chalice - the red glass one that was on the altar for Beltane - has unfortunately become too chipped to use, so was put in the glass recycling. 

The pair of off-white candle-holders are Raven's. I think there's either three or four in total, but we only used two this time, mostly for practical lighting rather than symbolic reasons. 

Home-made bread, candles and chalice
The wand you can see on the right of the altar is mine - it is made of oak, and was carved by a friend of mine as a birthday present about 12 or 13 years ago. I wrapped it with threads. I am actually thinking of getting a new wand made, one that is thinner and lighter, slightly shorter - basically, one slightly less chunky for home rituals, reserving the larger one for group rituals where I wouldn't want a thinner wand to be damaged in transit. I am also thinking of getting a stave made, or even carving one myself (although carving and 3D art in general is not something I am particularly competent at). 

Wand, leaf-blade athame, and and pentacle oil-burner
Another thing I retain from when I was Wiccan is the use of an athame. My athame is not black-handled or steel-bladed like the traditional Wiccan ritual knife, but instead has a varnished wooden handle and a brass blade in a leaf-blade sort of shape. It is an old letter-opener that I got from things being thrown out of a building about to be demolished, with a blade shape reminiscent of Bronze Age swords from Ireland and other parts of Europe, and being brass (a copper-zinc aloy) it is not too dissimilar from bronze (a copper-tin alloy). If I were a rich witch,  a replica of a Bronze Age sword would definitely be something I would definitely commission, but currently that is out of my range of affordability.

My altar for Lughnasadh/Lammas is relatively simple compared to altars set-up for the other holidays so far, but hopefully it is a helpful example of an altar for the festival. I will continue the series with altars for Mabon, Samhain/Samhuinn and Winter Solstice. I endeavour to be educational with these posts, and to both inform the curious who may be new to Neo-Paganism and Witchcraft, and to dispell misconceptions about these practices being something 'dark' or 'evil'. 

Saturday, 22 June 2019

Summer Solstice: Open Circle Ritual

I'm still working on my series of posts on the Wheel of the Year, used as a seasonal ritual framework by various modern Pagan/Neo-Pagan groups, including Wiccans and Druids. The celebration that is probably most famous as a Pagan holy day is the Summer Solstice. I attended more than one Summer Solstice celebration, and this post is about the one I attended as part of the Highland Open Circle/ It was a small private gathering at one of the member's home. 

Solstice Altar
Photo by Lynnie K
Midsummer is the celebration of the longest day - in the Northern hemisphere, this is June 21 or 22 (as our calendar year is imperfect in relation to the solar year, it is not always the same day). While Beltane is the start of summer, Midsummer is the season's peak. In Scotland, the warmest months are usually actually July and August, making Lammas, the next holiday, closer to summer's peak in terms of weather, but late June is pretty warm too. There's different terms for the Midsummer Solstice in different traditions and languages. I call it Midsummer's Night (quite traditionally English; you may recall the Shakespeare play) and it's linked with St John's Eve in much of the British Isles; a common case of a local holiday being linked with a Christian one. I've seen the Scottish Gaelic term for the holiday being Féill Sheathain, and the Druidic term is Alban Hefin (Light of Summer) and the Wiccan term, taken from the Anglo-Saxon, is Litha. Ancient cultures also had a significance for the Summer Solstice, as can be seen from the building of megalithic architecture aligned to the Summer Solstice, most famously at Stonehenge. We have comparatively little on the religion of the ancient pre-Roman Celts, let alone the cultures before that who built megalithic monuments; archaeological evidence can only tell of some of what happened physically, without the written word, it is difficult to interpret the meaning and mindset that accompanied the actions.

Solstice Altar. Photograph by Lynie Kutler
One of the most interesting things about the Open Circle is the diversity of traditions and backgrounds of our members. We're inclusive of many forms of occultism, witchcraft, Paganism, Neo-Paganism and pantheism/animism, so our celebrations tend to be a mixture of cultures and traditions reflecting the attendees' paths. Not everyone in the group is out as Pagan, so I can't comment too much about who believes what, but there are Norse Pagans, Wiccans, Druids, Chaos Magicians, traditional Witches, and even a Christian witch in the group, and we've had people from non-European traditions/non-Western traditions join from time to time, too. Our altar reflects a mixture of traditions, and also sometimes items that are souvenirs from the travels and experiences members have had that have influenced their spirituality, but aren't part of their tradition directly, or which are connected to the season we're celebrating. The gathering allows us to discuss our different experiences, and to have a collective altar that has elements that are deeply meaningful to all of us, as there is something special from each of us on it, and many things that become meaningful through their ritual use.

Elemental Ritual Masks and altar from above. Photo I took myself.
I brought the small sun plaque underneath the sun candle-holder at the front of the altar, and the elemental ritual masks. In many forms of Neo-Paganism, especially those that are Wiccan-derived, the Classical elements are honoured in Aristotle's form as Air, Earth, Fire, Water and Aether, or as it is more commonly termed 'Spirit'. In Wiccan ritual structure, part of the opening sequence is to call the elements, either to invoke spiritual entities seen as Guardians of the Watchtowers (a concept brought from the Golden Dawn occult framework, but simplified and altered to fit in Wiccan ritual), or as a way to acknowledge the different aspects of the natural world. Personally, I prefer the latter method. I made the masks for participants to better embody the elements they were honouring, and to take the self out of the equation a little for those who are nervous about speaking in front of a group. For the element of Fire, I painted a mask to look like flames, for the element of Water, I painted it to look like a tropical sea, using dimensional paint to make cresting waves for the hairline, eyebrows and nose, for the element of Earth I tried to make the mask look like geological strata, for the element of Air I painted it with shimmery silvery paint and then used more dimensional paint to make little clouds for the eyebrows, and for the element of Spirit (or 'Energy' in my practice) I painted it with metallic dimensional paint over purple, with metallic shimmer paint too, to try and make it look like lightning. You will see a sixth mask, this is a Nature mask I made for the Beltane ritual which I was asked to bring this Solstice too. 

Sun bowl , mirror plaque and orange candle. Photo taken by me.
As our ritual was indoors (it was predicted to rain), and the host does not have a fireplace, we had a large orange floral candle as our ritual centre rather than a bonfire. Many of our rituals have had an outdoor fire, especially as several of those who regularly host, myself included, have fire-pits. The fire or candle in the middle represents the sun, and remains lit for the whole of the ritual. It's ina nice big brass sun bowl for fire-safety reasons - candles have a tendency to melt and drip, and their wicks can shift. Always be careful when you use candles in your rituals. 

Gecko image next to the sun bowl. Photo taken by me.
It was nice to get together as a group - the Open Circle has been difficult to organise this year as we've all had a very hectic time, and those of us who usually do most of the organisational work, running the rituals and moots, etc. have had problems with our health (I mentioned that in May I had significant issues with my mental health). We've not been meeting up as a Circle very regularly, let alone me for many workings or rituals.

In my next post I will write about my visit to Druid Temple stone circle - a circle formed by the remains of a cairn. I went there in the evening after this ritual, and did some meditation. 

Friday, 21 June 2019

Summer Solstice: Our Home Altar

As with every spoke on the Wheel of the Year, I change the household altar to reflect the season. I find building a seasonal altar is a good way to connect to the changing year, to what is going outdoors in nature. I have a personal working altar in my study, which is more static in overall layout, and the altar I am showcasing in these pictures is our household altar in the living room. It's on wheels so I can roll it out into the middle of the space for group rituals, which is useful!

The two main aspects of Summer Solstice are 1) how the natural world is verdant and blooming in the height of summer and 2) celebrating the warmth of the Sun at it's peak (and also acknowledging that the days will then be drawing shorter again). The altar is set up to reflect those two things.
Green paneled wall, yellow altar cloth, pentagram candle-holder with sun plaque, home grown roses. Two green candle-holder jars. goddess shaped incense burner at the back. Two taper candles in green holders. The altar is a mostly symmetrical arrangement. Three incense sticks in a pentacle shaped flat incense burner.
Summer Solstice Altar. Incense sticks are on a pentacle incense holder.

The altar-cloth is yellow to symbolise the bright summer sun, but yellow is also the colour of many of the flowers blooming at this time of year. I also have the yellow altar-cloth over a green knot-work and pentacle altar-cloth, but it isn't visible from this angle. I put down two altar-cloths to make sure the top of the trolley I use as an altar cloth is protected, as it's a vintage item of furniture and has already got minor damage to the surface that I don't want to get any worse. For printed altar-cloths, I buy them from a local importer that sells Fair Trade hippie goods, and for plain ones, I use scarves I've bought, usually secondhand on eBay or from charity shops. The yellow altar cloth is a scarf (and the same one I used for Imbolc).

The wall behind is white with white dado rail, then green painted paneling. The altar has two white soy candles in green-glazed chunky candle-sticks. In the middle there is a pentacle candle holder with a purple soy votive candle at the top, a blue soy votive candle at the upper left point, a yellow soy votive candle at the upper right, a green soy votive candle in the bottom left, and a red soy votive in the bottom right, and there five tea-lights in the middle of the pentagram holder at the junctions. A sun plaque in red and yellow is hanging off it. There is a bouquet of mixed roses, peach pink and red, in the middle of the altar. On each side of the roses there is a green candle-jar, mottled with a leaf-shaped tag hanging off it. On the left of the altar there is a Goddess shaped metal incense sconce, on the right there is a pentacle-shaped flat incense burner, three incense sticks are visible. The altar cloth is bright yellow. In the foreground there is a sun-shaped ceramic candle holder with gold leaf and a tea-light. The image has a warm ambiance and was taken in the evening.
Summer Solstice altar. Sun candle-holder in foreground. 
I like going for a symmetrical arrangement on my altar; I think the beautiful altars from the churches I went to in childhood have inspired me, as has the traditional Wiccan arrangement for an altar, and just my own enjoyment of symmetry and order. I like that sort of formal arrangement, I feel it's a balanced aesthetic. I am not so much into seeing half of the altar as 'feminine' and half as 'masculine' because I am not into the duotheism of Wicca or the gendering of arbitrary traits - the Goddess incense burner is on the left but as is the Green Man above her, and the Green Woman plaque is on the right (you can just see a corner of each in the image above). Instead, I'm going to be shifting the imagery to fire and air on the right, and earth and water on the left - I will be switching the Goddess incense burner to the right side next time, but I have salt (in a stone dish, representing earth, on the left) as well as the green lotus leaf incense holder, which I've categorized as earth/water due to the lotus, rather than as fire/air due to being an incense holder.

Green paneling and yellow altar cloth. Pentagram candle-holder, with soy votive candles. Either side of the pentagram candle-holder are green ceramic candle-holders with soy taper candles. In the middle-ground is bouquet of roses with a peach rose facing the camera. On the left there is a grey stone pentacle dish with white salt, a green lotus incense burner with a traditional incense stick
Roses from my garden.
I like putting plants that are in season on my altar, so I picked some of the roses blooming in my garden and put them in a little glass bowl. I actually grow a lot of colourful flowers in my garden; not a very Gothic thing to do, I guess, but I enjoy gardening, and the front garden is tiny so just has flowers in it. The front garden is actually looking a bit scruffy at the moment, so I have a plan to tidy it up in the near future, with some bark chippings in the flower beds to help keep the weeds at bay (although weeds are just flowers growing in the wrong place - I actually put pretty 'weeds' in pots; they grow happily with little attention, and some have rather nice flowers on them, like wild pansies). Some more solar flowers would be sunflowers or marigolds, if you wanted to put something really big and yellow on there and they're flowering at the right time for you. I don't like buying flowers when I can grow my own ones. Having real flowers that inevitably wilt is a good metaphor for many of life's transient things, including remembering that summer isn't forever. 

The two chunky green candle-sticks at the back are glazed in a wonderful rich green. I bought them secondhand in a charity shop. The two mottled looking candle-jars in the middle were gifts from a friend and they have little fabric leaves and charms on them. The Goddess incense burner was a gift from Raven. The sun candle-holder with a tea-light in it is another altar item that I have had for a very long time, probably nearly as long as I've been a witch. The pentagram candle holder was bought in the January sales a while back. I will soon post about our Open Circle ritual.