My personal blog as a 'grown-up' Goth and Romantic living in the Highlands of Scotland. I write about the places I go, the things I see and my thoughts on life as a Goth and the subculture. Sometimes I write about music I like and sometimes I review things. This blog often includes architectural photography, graveyards and other images from the darker side of life.

The Gothic subculture is not just about imitating each other, it is a creative movement and subculture that grew out of post-punk and is based on seeing beauty in the dark places of the world, and looks back to the various ways throughout history in which people have confronted and explored the macabre, the dark and the taboo, and as such I'm going to post about more than the just the standards of the subculture (Tim Burton, Siouxsie Sioux and Anne Rice et al.) and look at things by people who might not consider themselves anything to do with the subculture, but have eyes for the dark places. Goth should not be limited by what is considered "goth", inspiration comes from all places, the key is to look with open eyes, listen carefully and think with an open mind..

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Starting University, Update Schedule, And The Future

Monday was my first day at University smile emoticon I have been ridiculously happy these last two days. The more I hear about the course I am on, the happier I am. A few years ago, studying any part of the field of architecture seemed beyond me; some mysterious technical skills and art that would forever be out of my reach. I didn't think I could go to university, and I didn't think I was good enough to get in as a mature student. Now, I'm actually starting!

 I get to spend the next four years on a subject I have a huge, obsessive passion for. I can get excited about hollow tiles for cladding and their insulation/heat transfer properties, I can get excited about how a three-story atrium works visually like a cathedral nave, I can get excited about weight distribution and support in complex curves, and all these things I get to learn about how they work. All that technical, structural, practical stuff about /how buildings work/ that I find fascinating is something I actually will have as my main focus, hopefully for the rest of my days! It's amazing! I can't believe it's actually happening. I will hopefully finally get to dedicate the rest of my life to stuff that is awesome, and I've got it because I've worked for it. I'm really proud of how far I've got, and I'm fully aware of how much nose-to-the-grindstone work I have ahead of me, but I also know that if I put in the effort I will get what I want. 

A lot of stuff has stood in my way in life, I've had to deal with a pretty bad start and a lot of neurological and mental health issues, and I've had to deal with some truly awful people, but I've got past that. My friends have helped, my Dad and my sister have helped, Raven has helped, and I don't want to ignore their contribution too. There was a time when I didn't have many friends (if any), where I didn't have much at all in the way of support, where it seemed like all I had was problems on every front, and prejudices and hatred surrounded me; but I fought through that, and won my life for myself, and even better I met some super-duper people the other side. I won't be as active as I was before on my blog, but I won't be ignoring you; it's just that now that I have this opportunity, I will need to make the most of it. I didn't think this was something that would ever be accessible to me; I didn't think this would be something I would actually get to do.

 But it's real. 

And now I have to work really hard to keep it, and make everything flourish. I might not be around much for a while, but I haven't forgotten you all!

18 comments:

  1. Good luck with school, I am sure you will do great!

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    1. It's one of those things where I've just got to keep putting in the hours. Things are going to be hard, some things are going to be really hard, but my plan is to face those things with sheer determination and effort. I want this badly enough that I've got a lot of motivation. I've waited nearly 8 years for this, and I've worked really hard to get here, but I know it is going to be even more work to go forwards, and that the work is worthwhile.

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  2. Oh my goodness, this is so exciting. New starts; overcoming the odds; and being who and where you want to be. I'm rooting for you!

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    1. There will probably be a monthly update on how university is getting along, alongside maybe some of my designs/drawings and such if they're applicable to this blog. I've also just moved house, so maybe there'll be a few things on decorating, too.

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  3. It is wonderful that you can finally do something you are so passionate about! It is always wonderful to have people who support you like that! It took me a long time to find people like that but I am so grateful! Best of luck!

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    1. Thank-you :D I've got the Goth community to thank for a lot of things; so many of my best friends, and even my partner, are people I have met through Goth :)

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  4. Yay! How exciting! :D I'm so happy for you, and I wish you the best.

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    1. New house, starting uni, leaving my old job; it's all change right now, and is both exciting and stressful at the same time.

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  5. Congratulations! I'm sure you'll excel - are you studying in the highlands still?

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    1. Thank-you. I'm still in Scotland, but I'm not going to say exactly where I am studying right now.

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  6. Best wishes to you for your new endeavor. Architecture is a passion of yours. I'm sure you'll do well.

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  7. This is inspirational. All the best with the course.

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    1. It feels a bit strange to be considered inspirational, but I I am glad if what I have done encourages others. Thank-you :)

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  8. I'm so happy that you're pursuing your passion! I wish you the best of luck :)

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  9. Follow the joy, and have a wonderful four years, you deserve it.

    Jane (Breaking the Angel)

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