Beauly Priory With Friends

This being my blog, it has a lot of pictures of me on it, and not really many pictures of anybody else unless I was at a gathering. I intend to change that this summer, recruiting friends from within the Goth subculture and friendly  to it, to be models for mini photo-shoots. I am not a professional photographer, this is only a hobby, and I do not profess to be much good.

The two models for this photo-shoot are my friend Ducky, and Catastrophe Plague (artist name, obviously) who is a good friend of Ducky's and whom I have only just recently met. These photographs are not highly styled fashion photographs, they are instead taken to capture images of my friends and fellow members of the Highland Goth and Alternative scene just being themselves. I guess it would be a bit pretentious to call this project social documentation, but I am proud of the local Goth and Alternative community, and wanted to capture some of it as a visual record of who we are and what we are.

Beauly Priory was chosen because Ducky is from Beauly, and knows the place well, and because it is a beautiful building that I had not thoroughly visited before. I had been there briefly a while ago, but there was plenty of restoration work being done at the time, and it was also not the best weather, so I took a few pictures with the camera on my smartphone but did not take any proper photographs. This time I was supposed to bring the nice Canon camera I use when I am taking "proper" photographs, but I couldn't find the charger the day before, or any batteries with full charge (it has been ages since I took it out) so the "point and click" camera had to do. 

Ducky standing in the front door. Photo by HouseCat

Beauly Priory is a wonderful Gothic building, which has long been out of use as an actual priory, is mostly in a state of ruin, and has since been used as a graveyard, with people interred actually within the building (hence the headstone behind Ducky) as well as around the building. The priory is undergoing a process of restoration, so a large portion was surrounded in scaffolding and temporary fencing. We left all of that area well alone, but the positions of the fences made it hard to walk around the priory without walking on grave-slabs. I find actually walking on them both disrespectful to those interred and likely to damage any inscriptions and carvings with repetetive passings.

Ducky ended up wearing my sunglasses. I had them in my raincoat pocket. Yes, Scottish weather is changeable enough that it is entirely possible to need sunglasses and a raincoat is quick succession. I'm often carrying sunglasses and a compact umbrella in my handbag at the same time, especially in "summer". We're prone to 'all four seasons in one day' weather. 

Ducky wearing my sunglasses. They were in my raincoat.

I took several photographs of both Ducky and Catastrophe Plague. They are not a couple, just good friends. I liked using the wall as a backdrop because there is just so much of it, and the textures of the stone, and the varying colours, look interesting. The patches of colour I presume indicate patches of construction as it was built in sections with stones from different places, or different batches of quarrying. The stones look recently repointed, probably part of the recent restoration work.

Both friends infront of the wall. Photo by the HouseCat.

Catastrophe's dress was a tad long, so if worn hanging from the straps, came down very low at the bust, so instead it was pulled up higher and the straps folded down over at the shoulders, which I think looked very witchy. An important thing about Goth fashion is that clothes do not have to be worn in the way intended; wear them however you feel like wearing them! 

Looking sorrowful in the archway. Photograph by HouseCat

This alcove is actually very low down, and Catastrophe was barely sitting in it, more leaning against the ledge. I really like how the composition turned out, and the archway provided a frame for the image. This is one of my favourites from the session. I know this could have still been done better, but considering this is my first time deliberately doing a set of photographs where people are the subject, I am very happy with this particular photograph, and reasonably chuffed with the whole set.

Portrait of Catastrophe Plague

I took some close-ups of Catastrophe, in a portrait style. I think the walls of the Priory are just beautiful, and so used them for the backdrop as much as possible. Catastrophe is lucky to have very nice cheek-bones, so I tried to pick angles that would highlight that. I am really not very experienced at taking portraits at all, so would quite like any advice my readers have on taking better pictures. 

Hair adjusting pose. Photograph by the HouseCat.

Catastrophe was doing some hair adjustment, and I thought it would make for an interesting composition, so Catastrophe ended up hair-tweaking about four times for this. I am frustrated that the raised arm came out a bit too bright compared to the rest of the skin tones, but other than that, am quite happy. The dress makes me think 'Game of Thrones' meets 'Lord of The Rings'. especially with all the vertical seams and the layering - another reason to capitalise on the splendid medieval building! 

Yellow roses signify happiness, if I remember rightly.

Catastrophe has a great fondness of roses, so especially requested this one with the yellow roses by the perimeter wall. I think the perimeter wall is a Victorian or later addition. The stones are far more finely dressed (cut more neatly) and there is fancy Gothic Revival carving on some points. I am not happy with the contrast on the roses, but I am not sure how to fix it in a satisfactory manner, as I think the lightest petals are just too washed out. I altered the contrast on the rest of the image as it needed more contrast, with the flowers masked out, but I do not know how to improve them. 

Photograph of me by Ducky

And one photograph of me! I figured there ought to be some record of my having been there. I think I was the most colourful of the three of us, with my violet and black brocade jacket and turquoise hair.

I took several more photos of both Ducky and Catastrophe, but these ones were the best o the bunch. I took 95 photographs in total, and about a dozen of them were reasonable - I think that is a good ratio of useable photographs to dud ones! I will be taking more photographs of friends willing to model, so I hope my readers like the idea of this project. 

Dinner With Friends

I am going to be upfront and honest here; I just really like how my make-up turned out today, and wanted to share it. 

Looking imperious!

I was all done up nice to go out for dinner with Raven and Suzy_Bugs. It wasn't to anywhere fancy, but I just felt like dressing up as I don't actually have very many opportunities to do so. I wore a corset, layered floor-lenght skirts, a silver satin-effect ruffled blouse, and plenty of fancy accessories. I quite enjoyed wearing more traditionally Gothic make-up; what I usually wear is a lot more toned-down than this. I did the two-tone eye-shadow based on a tutorial by "This Is Black Friday" on YouTube. The tutorial can be found ::here::.

Ruffles and suchlike

In retrospect I feel like I should not have worn black lipstick, as it wears off unevenly when eating. I definitely should not have worn, or even bought, the black lip-gloss; it gives a lovely wet-look effect when freshly applied, almost like PVC, but it rapidly starts bleeding into the fine lines of my skin around my lips, even with lip-liner, and even over black lipstick. In the end, I had to start over, and just wore matt black lipstick out. 

Extra shiny lipstick! That did not last :(

Other than that, I had a lovely dinner, a nice evening with friends, especially with Raven (who'd just finished a 12hr shift at work and deserved a nice evening) and altogether things went well. 

Contemplating Going Back To Black

I am still in love with my (as of yesterday, very bright) green hair, even if the upkeep can get annoying at times, but sometimes I miss my black hair.  I have curly black wig, but I'm thinking of buying a long straight black one with a style similar to these photos (not necessarily with the mini 'pig-tail' style).  I feel that fringes (bangs, to those who use American English) generally suit me quite well and are easier to style than swept across styles. I currently have a swept across style, and I'm never quite happy with it, whatever I do with it. 

DIY haircut and mini-pig-tails.

It is also considerably easier to co-ordinate black hair with pretty much any secondary accessory colour - green hair limits my style options to either all black (which is not really a problem as that is what I mostly wear) or a colour that compliments green, which rules out wearing a lot of my red garments without a wig, including a rather gorgeous HellBunny dress that I actually bought new (a rarity for me) and is certainly one for special occasions such as dates with Raven! I have actually quite a few red and black or red garments, despite most of my wardrobe being black. 

DIY haircut with hair left flowing.

I will probably go with the option of wigs, because wigs just add to options - some can be highly naturalistic, and I can have a different style with every different wig, and with the option also of styling the wigs. I can also still have brightly coloured dyed hair most of the time. In not being able to use permanent black dyes, I have re-discovered semi-permanent coloured dyes, to which I do not have the same itchy allergic reaction. 

A bit dry and straggly looking, but with flowers.

While I do have a curly wig already, the ends are getting frizzy (something I really need help with reviving) and the style is only really suitable for Classic-inspired Gothic and Kuro Lolita or similar  outfits. A fringe and straight long hair is a very versatile style that goes with a broad variety of Gothic styles, so would be far more frequently worn than the curly wig. I do like the curly wig, and I deliberately took the selfies below in a soft style because it reminded me of Edwardian and later cosmetics adverts with the lovely watercolour paintings of the women with curly hair. The face shapes considered beautiful then seem rounder and slightly softer than the women in many modern adverts who now tend to have more angular faces with prominent cheek-bones. 

The curly wig. Late afternoon photos are much warmer!

Wigs, however, are expensive (well, good quality wigs are) and I have greater financial considerations at the moment, as I have several known expenses ahead, and a few of unknown magnitude. I can't divulge too much right now, but come the autumn, my life may change very drastically - hopefully in a positive way - and I need to prepare for that, and therefore buying a wig is not my priority. Also, the weather tends to be quite warm in the summer, even in Scotland, and wigs can be quite itchy and sweaty on a hot day, especially with my natural hair underneath acting as an insulator. As such, I will have to delay my purchasing a wig for the time being. 

Confidence, Competitiveness and the Goth Community

Maybe it is just amongst twenty-something clubbers and bloggers, but I've noticed an air of competitiveness, especially about appearances and being 'Gothier than thou' - I know that in mainstream society women can get competitive and jealous over appearances, and that it is often linked to low self-esteem, but (and this was perhaps foolish of me) I thought the Goth subculture would lack this. I don't think it is a judgemental and external competitiveness -I don't see Goths belittling each other over their fashion and appearance very often- I think it's a personal desire amongst certain Goths to be the prettiest, most 'gothiest' Goth in the room/club/blogosphere, to always be seen in their best, most flamboyant outfits, and to be seen as never missing a music reference or subcultural reference.

I know all of us want to give a good impression to others, and even I fall into the trap of wanting to have a flawless public image on this blog sometimes, but it can get too much. If it starts impacting your confidence to the point where you think that you are somehow lesser than the rest of your Goth community, then it is time to take stock. And sometimes, yes, I do think that I ought to have memorised more of Bauhaus' discography or read more vampire books, and sulk when my friends can afford Iron Fist shoes and Lolita clothes from Japan (and be petite enough to fit in them) and I criticise myself for my makeup not being neat enough, my hair not being wild enough, not owning enough dramatic garments and not being able to afford everything I like.

We don't need to do this; we can relax. We are all human, none of us are perfectly Goth ALL of the time, we all make mistakes, have fashion off-days, forget the lyrics to songs, get band-members mixed up, trip over our own feet once in a while and have days when our hair just decides to be a frizzy mess however much we try. There is no point in pretending that we are beautiful vampiric creatures perpetually elegant and perpetually clam, and always socially gracious. 

The Housecat, dressed down.

Phone-cam selfie.

Here is a no-makeup, scruffy photo of me in my casual clothes. This is how I look a lot of the time when I am not going out for any reason, or if I am going out, am going out to do something where practicality is the key. I am wearing a cheap black tank top (from Tesco of all places), a pair of Raven's combats and a webbing belt, with my pentagram necklace and a silver .308 round for hunting werewolves (non-functional, obviously). My nail-polish is chipped, my face is blotchy from hay-fever and my hair just has two sets of tails at the front and a clip at the back. Nothing fancy at all.

Selfie, phone-cam.

Here are some photos of me dressed up in a Lolita-esque skirt by Banned (bought online at Kate's Clothing) with a ruffled blouse that was bought for me as a midwinter present by Raven, and a lovely thrifted lace shrug that was originally from Tesco! (Yes, really!). I have done my makeup, I am wearing lace gloves, which I can't remember if they are from Accessorise or Claire's Accessories (yes, I occasionally shop there...), but they were from the Eastgate mall in Inverness, anyway. Hair in the same style as for the first photograph. I am wearing makeup, I have brushed and straightened my hair, and am generally a lot more dressed up (and a lot more traditionally 'feminine' looking).

Selfie, phone-cam.

There is exactly the same person under both sets of clothes. I might look a bit more butch in the first photograph, a bit tougher, perhaps more into Industrial music than I am. I also don't look like I've put much effort into my appearance, with a "keep my hair out of my eyes" do and no make-up.  In the second photograph I look a lot more "put-together" with much fancier, more impractical clothes; perhaps I look like am more "ladylike" (such a nebulous term...), gentler, sweeter, and more Romantic and more 'Goth'. In reality, I am always the same person, I do not construct a new persona for each outfit (although I must admit I feel tougher in practical clothes because it's simply easier to be practical and athletic if you don't keep catching your ruffles on things) and I know just as little about Industrial music and love just as much Dead Can Dance and Cocteau Twins in both outfits, I am just as artistic and creatively inclined and like elaborate aesthetics just as much. 

Selfie, phone-cam.

I also don't somehow stop being Goth because I'm going for a walk in the woods or am staying indoors to do chores and therefore have no need to raid my wardrobe for my fanciest things. Yes, sometimes I do get all dressed up for nothing more than going to the store, or even bimbling around at home, but other times practicality trumps, and other times I am just having a lazy, relaxed day where such extravagances would be too frumpy. Nobody should feel like they somehow loose Goth credibility for not wearing the most 'uber-Goth' outfits ALL the time, or for that matter, for not listening to Goth music all the time, for not reading ONLY vampire books etc. etc. 

I know I am not the first blogger to write about these things. The Lady of the Manners addressed this issue in the second half of ::this:: article, which I think is definitely worth reading. Amy at Stripy Tights and Dark Delights wrote two posts that are related to this topic: ::"So You're Not Gothic Anymore?":: which deals with people who make assumptions when people are having less fancy days, and this  ::Pretty vs. Practical":: which shows two sides of Amy's wardrobe. 

Snow, Executions, Graveyards and Cats

Well isn't that a strange list of things!

Firstly, it snowed. I know it is mid-March, and theoretically Spring began on March 1st (for those places that use other dates than the equinoxes and solstices as seasonal starts) but it is once again terribly cold and snowy. We have had patches of warmer, brighter weather, but it seems to have plunged once again into winter. 

Snow and trees. Photograph by me.

This is a photo I took in local woodland. It was around 09:20 (I wasn't working at that point, my shift was later) in the morning, and the sun was quite low in the sky soon. Snow had blanketed everything in powdery whiteness, and the branches glittered brightly in the sun. The sky was blue, with more snow-clouds blowing in. I spent some time walking around the woods with the camera, and took a few other pictures, but this one was the best.

I caught a bus shortly after this and went into the city. I was surprised that it was so snowy in the city itself, as it is usually slightly warmer than the surrounding countryside, and often if it is snowing out on the hills, it is only raining in the city. Instead, I found great swirling flurries of snow. I wandered into the graveyard on Church St. to take photos, as I know it to always be very pretty, and the church beside it is a lovely Gothic Revival example (the church in it being much older).

Old High Church Graveyard

The sky, as you can see, had begun to cloud over once again, as more snow was falling and even more snow heading our way. I try not to photograph individual graves too legibly, but some were included as I tried to get a photograph of the overall scene. I will remember to photograph from the opposite angle in future, where I only get the backs of the stones. They are not (by any means) recent graves, and I hope I cause no offence to the families of those interred there. I tried very hard to photograph a rather fluffed-up crow that was scooting between the stones, and at one point perched on top of an urn-shaped grave stone, but he was too flighty (probably a result of the cold). 

Graveyard in the snow.

While I was there, I noticed that the visitor's board - the educational one with a brief history of the church and grounds - was buried under snow, so I cleared it off. Having cleared it off, I glanced over it, thinking I had read it all before, but then realised I hadn't, and that the parts missed included a rather gruesome episode in the Church's history. After the Battle of Culloden, Jacobite prisoners were kept there temporarily, and executed in the graveyard. There were, and are, two stones in the graveyard, one with a groove in the top that was used as a musket rest, and one 9 yards directly in front of it, facing the river, where the prisoner to be executed was placed. I think quite a few died there. Apparently the executioner missed once, and there is dent in the wall of the house opposite. Reading about it sent chills down my spine, and it seemed quite eerie that the churchyard that is now peaceful and pretty and full of wildlife and nice statuary was once witness to such bloodshed. While graveyards are often associated with death, it is rare for people to have actually died in them. 

I had to go home at this point, as I had to get ready for my shift at work, but the weather started improving again. A lot of the snow melted in the afternoon. 

There's a cat perched on me. 

On a lighter note, on the way home to change for work, this friendly cat from a neighbour's house came over to see me. She likes clambering on me, and as you can see in the photograph, especially likes sitting on my shoulders. She's a very, very cute little kitty. And yes, I am terrible at taking selfies. I often get to play with her on my way too and from the bus, and once she refused to get off my shoulders, and I wondered if she was hoping to sneak onto the bus with me... Eventually she climbed onto a fence next me and was content to be petted while sitting up there. 

Makeup Tutorial: Date Night

I figure ivory is a good counterpoint to black... 

This was going to a bit earlier in the month, on Valentine's day, to be precise, but it wasn't ready. This is a makeup tutorial recreating the makeup design I wore to the dinner date with Raven that we had to celebrate three years of us being together, earlier on this month! As I wore a ruffled satin blouse and floor-length skirt, and my curly black wig, I wanted something to break up pillar of black effect, so opted for ivory lace gloves and pearls, and thus consequently, ivory eye-makeup. 

Photographs by SuzyBugs
My hand looks awkward because my thumb nail is actually bandaged.

I didn't get chance to photograph my makeup on the actual night, but decided that it definitely needed a step-by-step so recreated it a bit later. You might notice that it is decidedly similar to my last makeup tutorial, and this would be right, but this is my preferred style - asymmetric with swirls only on one side. Many thanks to SuzyBugs for photographing me (and I'm not even a spider!).

On to the tutorial itself!

Neatly plucked eyebrow and moisturised and primed skin.

Preparation
As always, it is important to start by preparing your face. First of all, wash your face, then carefully pluck your eyebrows and any extraneous facial hair (I find that this is less uncomfortable after I've washed). Moisturise your skin. Once this is done, apply a good toner. After that, a good primer is essential - go for a very lightly coloured translucent primer. Once the primer has dried, apply concealer. If you don't wait, the concealer is thinned by the primer and does not conceal very well. The three brown moles on my cheek don't conceal very well as they are slightly raised, so I don't bother, personally I think leaving them gives me character as most of the time I am not aiming for a doll-like look. 

Foundation
I used a very light amount of foundation, thickest over my nose and on my face either side of my nose, where I tend to be the pinkest. I then set the foundation with a porcelain-coloured powder, and a light dusting of matte white on my cheekbones, forehead and nose as a highlight. My nose has a tendency towards pinkness and I work to counteract this.

I use Rimmel Kohl pencil; these are my favourite.

Kohl
Starting in the middle, under my lower lashes, and working towards the outer corners I drew in my eyeliner with a soft kohl pencil. I used soft kohl because it goes on quite dark and can be blended outwards with a brush for a smokey effect. I did indeed blend it outwards with a brush, and added a light amount of black eye-shadow as a powder to set it afterwards. I did not do anything to my upper eyelids as working in off-whites and white means that I need to add anything black afterwards to avoid the white getting mucky.

White on the waterline makes my eye look larger.

White Waterline
I added white to the lower waterline to help give me the illusion of larger eyes. This is done carefully with a white eye pencil. I also add just a little bit to the inner corner of my eye, where it meets my nose, to help give me the illusion of a slightly narrower nose or slightly further apart eyes (depending on which way you see it), and to contrast nicely with the black eyeliner I applied later.

Cream eyeshadow near the inner corner, white towards the outer.

Eyeshadow
This is was relatively simple and I only used two colours - a matte creamy off-white and white with a very slight amount of shimmer. Before I got that far, I primed my eyelids, as I wanted a dense colour that would last. You can get special eye-makeup primers, but I use my regular primer with no issues. I used an eye-shadow sponge (the kind with the nice long handle, like a brush) and started with the cream colour, working from the inside corner of my eyelid to the middle, and patting it on rather than sweeping in order to keep it dense, then I used the white eye-shadow from the outer corner inwards to the middle and carefully blended them, trying not make them patchy in the process. I then took a small fluffy brush and added a dusting of the cream eyeshadow out along my brow bone and out to my temples. At this point it is done symmetrically, but once I decide which side the swirls will go on, I add slightly more to that side in order to give a nice contrasting creamy base for the black swirls.

Eyeliner
I use a dip eyeliner with a fine brush tip to first of all line my upper lid, then draw narrow 'cat-eye' tails at each outer corner. The eye-lining is decidedly wider towards the outer corner. I draw a very narrow line on my lower lids, coming down slightly as I approach the inner corner in order to add to the illusion of larger eyes. 

Still needs more swirls...

Swirls
At this point I pick which side will have swirls, add a touch more cream eyeshadow, and draw the swirls on. The brush tip is what allows for the calligraphy-like variation in line thickness and clean swirls. My skin is not as smooth as it once was, and I do sometimes have to go back and touch up any patchy sections. One thing I have to make sure of in the preparation stage is that there are no fine, almost invisible hairs on my temples, because if eye-liner gets on them, they become instantly very visible! Swirls are tricky, but it just takes practice. Doing them with either a gel or liquid eyeliner and brush or a brush-tipped eyeliner makes them so much easier. I tend to go for finer, more intricate swirls, but Adora BatBrat often does good examples of what can be done with bolder strokes. 

I added a couple more swirls in...

Mascara
Mascara is the last step. As you may have seen in the photos above, I am lucky enough to have fairly long and curly lashes anyway, so do not curl them, but if you want to, you can.

As before, yes, I do have naturally grey eyes, and they are not contact lenses. If you look at all my photographs you will see that I do indeed have grey eyes, but in this set the lighting makes them seem slightly darker than normal. 

Ye Olde Babybat Pictures!

I can't believe I am actually publishing these on the public internet...

Yes, glowering at the camera made me SO much more Goth... 

These are so old that they might as well be out of the Ark! These are all terrible selfies taken eons ago, when I was a teenage babybat. These are from the start of my second attempt at Goth, so at least they are not as bad as the photographs from when I was a Goth the first time around would have been, had any been taken. Please forgive the absolute lack of photographic skill, and be reassured that I have improved since then (even if I insist on using the built-in computer camera on occasions).I am posting these here to show that even older Goths were once babybats. I did not get it 'right' straight away, and I had to learn what good makeup was (hint: not this!) and that looking sullen in all my photographs was not 'more Goth' and did nothing to make me look more serious, if anything, it made me look more ridiculous. 

So serious, but sparkly!

 Goth, as a visual aesthetic and fashion style, takes considerable time to learn. You can learn about the music a lot quicker than you can acquire the makeup, fashion and style skills. In these pictures I had learnt how to line my eyes, and put white on my lower waterline to make my eyes appear bigger, but my mascara is patchy, barely there and generally awful, and those dots...  just why did I think them a good idea? I hadn't learnt to blend properly, so there are sudden and distinct transitions of colour across my eyelids, not that those colours in that arrangement would blend in a manner aesthetically pleasing to me, anyway. 

I used to dye my hair black (but have since become sensitive to black dye), which is one thing I miss. I have black wigs now, but it is not the same. Before people suggest using henna and indigo, I have tried this more than once, and have only managed to darken my hair slightly, and not to black. I still have that stripy red and black blouse, but the red has faded and black is now a dark charcoal. 

Woe is me, my dots are not symmetrical.

I also used to have terrible, terrible skin. I had bad acne, dry patches, and oily patches. These things cleared up over time, and usually do. I do not suggest using lots of foundation or thick makeup if you have these usual teenage skin complaints; they only made the acne worse with me, and did little to disguise the underlying rough texture of my face. A good diet with a good intake of water helps. I don't have a  fancy regime of products, I just eat my greens and drink lots of water and fruit juice, and wash my face with warm water. 

Anyway, babybats and younger Goths, do not despair, and keep practising. Your future older self may look back on pictures of your current self and sigh, but it is these early years of being Goth during which you experiment and find what you like, what you are good at, and what works. Older Goths, do not mock the younger and newer Goths for their lack of makeup skills and poor choices of clothes (and erroneous music categorisations, arguments over Marilyn Manson and other such newbie faux-pas), because everyone was new once, even if they were new at the same time as the subculture was new (I wasn't, by the way, I'm too young to have been an '80s Goth, even if I am old enough to remember bits of the '80s.)