Gothic Christmas

I decorated my study with Gothic-aesthetic Christmas decorations. As has been explained in this blog already, I don't celebrate Christmas as a religious thing, more an honouring of family traditions. It's very much a secular Christmas in our household, with the big religious celebration being Midwinter's Day on the 21st of December instead. The decorations in my study centre around the 'Gothmas' Tree - something that's part in-joke, part household 'tradition'. The 'Gothmas' Tree started when Raven and I first moved in together, nearly 10 years ago. His family are quite traditional about Christmas, and so Raven wanted to continue that. At that point, I wasn't really into Christmas very much as I came from a home where it wasn't really celebrated because it held too many painful memories and too much anxiety, it was a very simple occasion with no turkey, a very briefly apparent Christmas tree, and usually a lot of sorrow. I went to Christian schools, so Christmas was a big thing there, and I sang with church choirs when I was younger, so I'd performed in many carol concerts, and so it wasn't a completely bleak and sombre affair (and even the worst Christmas of my life ended up with me falling asleep in glittering lights of the basilica in Rennes) but it just wasn't something I felt a deep connection to, at least not a positive one. 

The 'Gothmas' tree & my tinsel on my desk. The snowflake is too big, so leans

I wanted to go for a Gothic 'Christmas' that was just a second Hallowe'en (my favourite holiday, of course) so I could still be celebrating something when surrounded by the huge cultural pressure to do Christmas, but my partner is very much into a traditional Christmas. The compromise was that we'd do both; I could have my own Gothic tree, and we would have a big traditional tree in the living room, and I could watch 'Nightmare Before Christmas' and he could play old-time Christmas songs from the '40s and '50s, and we'd get together for roast dinner with the fancy black-handled ornate cutlery reserved for special occasions I brought back from Ireland. It was said in jest that my Gothic tree was so I wouldn't 'ruin' the Yule tree with skulls and bats when Raven wasn't looking because I kept trying to 'sneak' black baubles onto the Yule tree, especially when I found baubles that were very pretty but too big for my little black tree, and they are now permanent fixtures on the Yule tree (which has a lot of more unusual decorations).

Spiky iridescent bauble, I think from B&M or Tesco, on the 'Gothmas' tree

I couldn't afford a second full-size tree on that first Christmas because I'd recently been made redundant when the shop I was assistant manageress of shut down for good a couple of months previous, so I bought a small tree, to bring a spark of spooky joy into what I feared would be a very bleak Christmas in a new country where I knew virtually nobody except my partner, hundreds of miles from my family, jobless, broke, and celebrating that festival that I usually hated. Christmas that year actually wasn't too bad, and I think I managed to even continue the pattern from our first Christmas where I bought Raven a hamper of unusual ingredients and favourite foods! Ever since then, there has been the Gothmas tree - in our old apartment it used to be in the bedroom, and now it is in my study, where being purple and black it matches everything else in there as the whole room is purple and black. 

Skull tinsel - cracked skull tinsel, to be precise, from Poundland

Apart from being very short, my little black tree is quite weedy, so I fill it with tinsel - purple, black, silver, and one that's purple and black with black cats, and another that's black and white with skulls. It looks a lot bushier once I've wound it around with all that tinsel - full length tinsel meant for full size trees, too! It's about all I can do to make it a passable Christmas tree and not a sad Christmas branch instead.

'Festive Fears' tombstone decoration from SpookyBoxCo

Some of the decorations like the glittery stars and black baubles are just ordinary Christmas decorations - it's quite common to find purple and black decorations these days, and silver is a traditional festive decoration for anything snowy. I quite like the spiky glittery stars, and there iridescent star shown at the top. I've also got decorations from SpookyBoxCo from when I used to be subscribed. Some are black tomb-stones with spooky mottos, and some are white skulls (pictured bellow).  There's also glittery purple skulls tucked into the boughs, but all the photographs that I tried to take turned out blurry, unfortunately. 

Cute skull decoration from SpookyBoxCo

As you can see in the background of the photograph above, the lights on the tree are bats. They glow a blue-ish violet, but all the photographs I've taken of them look purely blue. I promise they aren't entirely blue. They're Hallowe'en lights, I think probably from Poundland, but I can't be certain of that. I don't have many Hallowe'en specific string-lights in my house any more - I used to have several in my study when it had the more kitschy aesthetic, but I've now rehomed them to people who have more of that sort of aesthetic. I still have two strings of skull lights, one with small clear resin skulls, and one with blown mercury glass large skulls, but they are in our bedroom. I bought some purple bat miniature LED lights, which are on the edge of my shelves. 

A purple bat that looks blue. 

The rest of the string-lights in the picture below are all permanent fixtures in my study, except for the ones on the tree. The festive period is probably the only time of the year when I have all of the string-lights turned on, although I do sometimes put a few one for things like ambience while gaming at my PC or mood-lighting for D&D. I also like to put a few on when I'm meditating, and don't want the bright over-head light or stand light. I think my study possibly has far too many lighting options, and I'm saving up to get an electrician in to give me even more lighting options, hopefully in summer, so maybe I'm just overly finnicky about lighting adjustability... The lantern string lights were originally clear plastic with brown frames and I used glass-paint to make them purple and green and nail-polish to re-paint the brown plastic frames black. The skull, lanterns and purple orb lights were all from Poundland. They run off batteries. 

Lanterns, a skull, tiny bats, & glowing orbs are the tip of the lighting iceberg

In both the first photograph and the one above you can see there's tinsel on my shelf. I think they're both from B&M, although one might be from The Range, I can't remember. I've got two more photographs of tinsel and I'm not writing two more paragraphs on the topic of tinsel; one is iridescent green and purple/pink, and the other is petrol grey, and they're thick with long fronds - that is all there is to say about tinsel. I think the iridescent one looks quite magical. 

Iridescent tinsel

I think next year I will get two more strands of tinsel, so each shelf has one, as just two shelves looks a bit awkward. I'd like to get some really chunky black tinsel, and maybe some purple or some silver tinsel. 

Grey tinsel

Another element of Christmas decorations in my study are foil garlands, spider garlands, and a foil star. They are the sort that come flat, and you fold them out to expand them. I know a lot of people think these decorations are quite tacky, but I like them, and they remind me of Christmas at my grandmother's house back in the early '90s, maybe even the late '80s. I liked Christmas at my English grandmother's house, but she passed away when I was a child. I tried really hard to photograph the garlands, but I could not get a good angle. I did get a good couple of photographs of the star that hangs from my ceiling however. 

A foil star with silver, purple and blue

There's a spider garland that has a pretty similar concept - it's purple (six legged???) spiders made of tissue-paper strung along a cord - but I didn't get a photograph of that either. 

My glass-less Gothic arch former-mirror for scale and position.

That was my Christmas decorations for 2019. If by next Christmas, I have my cornice up and sort out my ceiling (maybe with two new lights...) then you might get a half-decent photo of the garlands, too. 

Bat/Dragon Wings from Madame Magpie: Review

I spotted an advert on FaceBook for some rather pretty lace-on bat wings, and immediately fell in love with them. They're hand-made by an independent crafter - Madame Magpie, who makes them for attaching to both roller-derby skates and regular footwear, and can be found ::here::. I agreed with her what design I wanted, but said I couldn't afford them until after I got paid, which she was amenable to. The discussions via FaceBook chat were really good for explaining exactly what sort of colours I wanted - and I used a selfie for colour reference so they would match my hair! (Although my turned turquoise-blue with royal-blue fringe after the first wash... which I am NOT happy about! But that is another story entirely).

Bat wings, keyring, and card.

The wings are leather, and are hand-painted in metallic paints with a touch of glitter. They have three metal grommets each where the laces go through - which is good as I wouldn't want them to wear or tear from friction where the laces go through. The colours are exactly what I hoped for. It's hard to tell from the photographs, but they are a lovely metallic effect, even the purple bits, and have a little bit of shimmery green glitter on them.  

A single bat wing 

The package was well wrapped, and also included a matching branded keyring. I'm not normally a fan of key-rings that are also adverts, but this one has a personal touch that makes it different, plus it's very sparkly. My keys have enough stuff attached to them already, but I will be hooking this key-ring on too. 

Free key-ring

I really like the bat wings, especially as I can use them with any pair of lace-up shoes or boots. Currently they're on a pair of black high-heeled brogues, but next they might end up on some granny-boots, or a pair of flat shoes - or maybe my roller-derby skates! They're tough leather, so they should withstand the rigours of what is a rather frenetic contact sport. 

Close up of bat wing, key-ring, and awesome skull-magpie logo.

I would rate this product as: 

Construction: 5/5

They're well made, with paint that hasn't cracked, peeled or flaked since I've worn them, and the grommets seem firmly in place. The leather is thick, and they seem generally well made and quite sturdy - which is important for something going on shoes or even roller-skates which will entail a pretty good chance of them getting caught or scraped on stuff.

Time: 5/5
The turn around for making them and despatching was just a couple of days, which I was really happy about. It took longer for the postal service to get them to me than it did for her to go from finalising the commission with me to sending them off. 

Communication: 5/5

Communication over FaceBook chat was really effective. We were able to clearly establish what I wanted, and she was very good at responding, and very clear and polite. She used one of my selfies as a colour reference, and it worked out pretty well. 

Packaging: -

I forgot to keep the packaging for my review, so there's no score for this one. It all arrived safely, though, and that's the important thing.

Coolness: 5/5
I have bat-wings that match(ed) my hair that I can pair with whatever shoes I want, and I think that's pretty cool - but maybe I'm a tad biased. I know the colourful, fun aesthetic isn't for everyone, but I love them (plus, if you have to have all-black-everything, she can do all black ones!).

Photos are taken on a grey skull adorned printed napkin I got at Hallowe'en from TK Maxx
This post is NOT sponsored, and I haven't had any renumeration or reward for writing this. I bought the bat-wings with my own money, and I don't expect any future recompense from Madame Magpie.

Makeup Of The Day: Baroque Swirls

Since resigning from my job, I have had the opportunity to wear elaborate outfits, and even more elaborate makeup on a daily basis. Sadly, I haven't built my selfie booth/self-portrait corner yet, so there have not been plenty of 'outfit of the day' updates, unlike how I planned. Here is a particularly swirly example of my makeup from the weekend just past. I did something very similar again today, but did not have chance to photograph it. I have been working on improving my swirl-drawing skills, and working on my lipstick, too. Since I did the vampire-doll-like lipstick for ::this:: look, I have been experimenting more with blended lipstick. Using black edges around a dark colour is something that was inspired by ::Sophistique Noir::, who I remember doing something similar with red. I have used iridescent purple, and I hope the blue sheen shows up well in these photographs.

Baroque-inspired asymmetric swirls. Selfies by HouseCat 

I hope to get more posts written. I have ideas for more serious posts, but so little time. I have to prioritise university, so this blog is something I don't get much time for. When my self-portrait corner (with lights, tripod for a proper camera and suchlike) is set up, I should find it easier to take good selfies and thus have more fashion/style content for this blog.

Purple, Black & Green: Outfit Of The Day

I often feel that posting "Outfit Of The Day" blogs is a bit like cheating for this blog - it is fine if you are a fashion blogger who is primarily a style blogger, but that isn't really what my blog is about. During the hiatus I did not have much time to invest in writing extended articles, and my longer written posts can take several days to write. My usual method is to word-vomit as much as I can at my keyboard to get my ideas out of my head, then edit that into an organised, coherent and reasonable article. As I like to give myself time to think and reflect and "digest" between the first phase and the editing phase, this is often done over a few days. Outfit posts are quite simple: they are a couple of selfie collages made in ::PicMonkey::, an outfit run-down and a little bit about what I think from an aesthetic point of view.

Selfies by the HouseCat

Outfit rundown:
☽ Sunglasses: eBay - I'm not sure who makes them, but several Chinese ebay shops sell them.
☽ Bolero Jacket: DarkStar - bought in shop at FarFetched in Inverness
☽ Blouse: ZanZea - Christmas/Winter Solstice present from Raven
☽ Underbust corset: eBay
☽ Velvet Overskirt: bought secondhand on eBay
☽ Skirt: Marks & Spencer's, bought secondhand on eBay. I have two of this skirt, both secondhand.
☽ Pentagram Bag: DarkStar. I actually can't remember where this is from, I think it was a present from Suzy-Bugs.

Selfies by the HouseCat. Colours more purple and less bruise-like in real life.

I have actually acquired quite a collection of unusual sunglasses, mostly round ones. I'm a real fan of round sunglasses, so these rhombus-lensed glasses in round frames were an interesting addition. My friend ::Ms. Sheridan:: got a pair, and I shamelessly copied her by getting a pair too. 

The make-up for this outfit was metallic purple in a colour that matched my jacket - I used two different cameras for the face pictures and full-length selfies, and the lighting is also different, so it is hard to tell, but if you use the idea that it is the same colour wall behind me in both sets, you should get the idea that they are the same purple! I also used a water-colour brush (dedicated to make-up use) and some metallic purples and metallic black eyeshadow to draw the swirl on my cheek, and then metallic silver eyeliner (same as a I used on my eyelids) to draw the crescent moon. My green hair has faded to turquoise. I am taking a break from dyeing and bleaching it for the while, but will probably do something interesting with it at the start of summer break. 

In the next few weeks I hope to upload more in-depth posts - probably one about things that made me realise I am Goth (a 'how I became a Goth' post, in some ways), and a few other wordier ones. 

Mermaid Make-Up

Today I experimented with colourful make-up. 

A very short post today!

I'm usually the sort of person that opts for very monochrome eye-makeup, but today I tried doing some make-up to match the colours in my hair. My hair is currently a darker gradient than before, with Directions Apple Green at the top, Stargazer Turquoise in the middle, and Directions Alpine Green for the back and bottom of my hair.

Not the best selfies. Photos by HouseCAT

For extra vibrant eyeshadow colours, I mask off under my eyes with bandage/dressing tape (being careful not to press too hard, otherwise it sticks fast and hurts a lot to pull off!) and then masking from the outer corners of my eyes to the outer ends of my eyebrows. I then cover the whole eyelid area right up to my brows in white foundation. The white foundation gives the eyeshadow something to stick to in order to last longer, and acts as a white ground to enhance vibrancy (something I learnt from Pre-Raphaelite painting techniques!). The masking using bandage/dressing tape also creates very clean, crisps edges. Really be careful not to stick it down too hard though, otherwise it really does tug at your skin to remove it (and as I have particularly stretchy skin, this is not fun!).

The finished effect reminded me of mermaids and ocean colours. Traditionally, mermaids are not always nice creatures, at least not in British mythology, where they're often a bad omen, or want to drown sailors - a bit like sirens - and are often associated with the weather turning nasty (this is Britain; the weather does that a lot, so perhaps we are overrun with mermaids? :P ). In Scottish mythology, there's a mermaid that's woman for the top section, and salmon for the bottom section, called a Ceasg or Maighdean Mhara that is a bit more benevolent, and she will grant three wishes to whomever catches her.

The photographs were taken on my webcam, and are not the best quality and are a bit hazy. They were also really quite dark despite it being a bright day, so I had to artificially lighten them in PicMonkey, so apologise if I look a bit paler than normal and a bit digital. The resolution wasn't good to begin with, and using tools that aren't meant as dodge and burn for those purposes in PicMonkey sort of smudged me further. 

Colour And Goth

There's a myth that all Goths are allowed to wear is black, maybe a little white or grey, but strictly a greyscale palette.

Green and purple; definitely two colours here!

This is completely untrue. Goths can wear colours.

I am sure that most experienced Goths know this, but I want to both reassure the younger and newer Goths, and dispel a common misconception.

Yes, black is the primary feature of our aesthetic just look at this blog layout!), but there's plenty of room for adding different colours into the mix. I do primarily wear black, but I personally love using accents of colour. I think all the black as a background means that I have to use stronger colours and designs to come forwards from such a strong but neutral background as black. I can thank Odile Decq, the French architect and designer, talking about her design for the Museum of Contemporary Art in Rome for making me think about this. Look her up on the internet; she is a fascinating and brilliant designer of multitudinous things from knives to buildings, and by appearances, I would guess a traditional style Goth, too! As such, when I wear colours with my black, it is in strong and bold designs, such as the dramatic eye make-up or the absolutely gorgeous purple and black "marching band" style jacket by Dark Star. I never go for mediocre or dull items - I go  for rich jewel tones and clothes with interesting designs. 

Hopefully the purple in my jacket is visible in this one.

I think contrast is the key to wearing colours with mostly black; to me it is far more striking if someone wears one or two bold colours with a mostly black outfit than if one wears equally dark or muted shades. Of course, layers of deep colours and darkness have their own appeal, too. I tend to wear usually only one colour with my black, usually dictated by my hair or wig colour. Combining two bold colours like in this outfit and make-up is actually quite an uncommon thing for me. I also like to match my accent colour so that I use the same shade throughout, as I feel that this co-ordinates and brings a sense of cohesion to the outfit. 

Grumpy Goth!
Actually, just trying not to smudge my lipstick.

Any colour can be worn with black, and I have no intentions of limiting anybody's fashion choices, but it is more traditionally Gothic to choose from purple (for magic and mystery) or red (for blood and passion). I have, however, seen pretty much every colour paired with black. To me each colour has its own association: blue brings associations of the night sky, neon green of the "radiation glow", emerald green of snakes and dragons, gold of Ancient Egypt, coppers and browns of Steampunk, pastel pink of the "creepy-cute" style, etc. It is rarer for colours to be worn without black, but I have seen some gorgeously Gothic (if not always necessarily Goth) outfits in almost completely red, white and purple - if there's any black at all, it is as an accent, and in some cases silver or white are used as the accent instead. It is not about the black, it is about the sort of aesthetic and associations portrayed. Silver and white on its own can look very ghostly, red on its own is good for portraying styles with links to vampires, carnal passions, and blood (with vampires being a combination of the latter two, in many ways). 

I am indeed wearing glitter with my Goth, too!

There are plenty of ways to combine colours into a Goth wardrobe and Gothic aesthetic. If you are looking for inspiration, just search the internet; there are plenty of beautifully styled Goths who often incorporate colours into their appearance without diminishing their "Gothness". Have fun, add some richness to the dark! 

Romantic Goth and Gothic Lolita: Where I Stand

Recently, I've been getting quite into putting together a Gothic Lolita wardrobe, as an addition to my usual Romantic Goth (or should that be Gothic Romantic in my case?) wardrobe. Thankfully, while the styles are different, there's enough overlap for me not to have to do too much shopping - already have black ruffled blouses, a coffin handbag, a black cat handbag, lots of lacy accessories, fancy tights and ruffled socks,  a selection wigs, a few skirts with enough space for the pouf of petticoats, etc.  This expansion of my style is exactly that - an expansion. I am not "quitting" being a Goth, I'm just adding more variety of black outfits to my selection of black outfits! I don't plan on venturing into Sweet Lolita or Country Lolita or whatnot, just sometimes wearing outfits that adhere to the stylistic 'rules' of Lolita but are very much rooted in my being a Goth. 

Very much still a Romantic Goth
Webcam selfie

Why have I got into the Lolita subculture, then? The emphasis on outfits being well put together, on being co-ordinated is something that appeals to me.  It is a view of fashion where looking good is a skill. The anachronistic stylistic influences are something I was bound to adore - I've always been one to scavenge from various centuries and mix it all together like some kind of vampire that has been adding and altering clothes for hundreds of years with little regard to what is in fashion at any one time, or some kind of time-traveller that has hopped between times and places so often that their wardrobe doesn't really belong to any of them. Lolita provides a framework for these mixed influences, and makes it possible to combine them in a way that is aesthetically pleasing rather than incongruous. 

Finally, a sense of community - there IS definitely a Goth and Alternative community locally, even if it is a small one and even if the Metal community is certainly the predominant local one, and while I certainly do have a circle of friends that share some of my interests, I'm far more likely to have friends who want to go clubbing or to the pub than a tea party or picnic, and I am more inclined to the quieter, more sedate activities of the latter. Don't get me wrong, I do clubbing, but I see that more as an opportunity for some good music and plenty of dancing than socialising, especially as I can hardly hear myself talk, let alone anybody else. Lolitas tend to gather to chat over tea and cake, or perhaps go ice-skating or to the botanical gardens - these are the sorts of group activities that I feel far more comfortable taking part in- even if I might want to go for a stroll around the graveyard or go visiting old buildings too. 

None of this means that I am abandoning my Goth side - this is all in addition to the Goth things I continue to do. I am still going to float around in floor-length skirts and wear fingerless gloves and an over-sized ankh pendant. I'm still going to go visiting graveyards and old buildings and take photographs of ruined castles. I will still be me, and still be Goth, just with a few new dresses. 

Short Hair

In early to mid December, I had my hair cut the shortest it has ever been. At the front there is enough length to frame my face, but at the back there's less than 2 inches of the stuff (and that's now, with about a month's re-growth) and dyed it my favourite colour - a bluish violet.

This is quite a drastic change, considering I had long hair down to my bust before (not the longest it has been - it was once down to my waist) and that the previous shortest hair-cut was ::this one::. There are many reasons for the drastic cut. On a practical level,  there were several good reasons. I work with small children (mostly 4-6yr olds), and some of them are inclined to tug my hair to get my attention, or end up flicking or splattering stuff into it when doing messy activities, and so it seemed more practical to have short hair. I also wear wigs quite often, and it is easier to tuck shorter hair under a wig than longer hair. Long hair takes longer to dry, uses more dye and is harder to keep tidy and look after, etc. 

Another reason was because I felt the shorter hair-style would make me look and feel a bit more mature. I've had long hair since I was a little girl, with a few attempts to stick to a shorter style, but generally, it has been long, and I felt that this was a look that would move drastically away from that and have me looking more sophisticated. I've moved on a long way in life in the last few years, both in distance and in knowing what I want to do in life. Now, I feel like I have regained direction as well as made progress. 

I've had so many conflicting ideas of what to do as a career, all I have known is that going back to studying is something I have to do, and it has been hard picking which of my varied interests and passions coincide best with my skills and would be best developed into something I could see myself working in for a long time. As a teen, I was dead set on architecture, but for varying reasons ended up thinking I would be happier as an artist/illustrator, and that's what I worked towards at college - in the end, though, I tried that and found that working in art killed my passion for what I was doing, and I wasn't enjoying it. For a while I thought about teaching, but I don't think I have the right attributes for that. Now, I feel like I was right to begin with. Sometimes you have to try something to know it isn't actually what you're meant to do. 

Cutting hair short seems to often be a rite of passage for other people, a symbol of cutting away parts of their old self with their hair. It has been the same for me. 

Spirit Day 2013

It's that time of the year again - no, not Halloween (that's not for another 12 days!), but Spirit Day.

Spirit Day was started in 2010 by a Canadian teenager, Brittany McMillan, in response a spate of suicides related to people being bullied over being LGBTQ. Spirit Day is a day to show solidarity, by wearing purple, with people who are bullied, especially those who are bullied for being, or being assumed to be, LGBTQ. For those who don't know what LGBTQ stand for, it means 'Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Queer' and encompasses a variety of sexual orientations and gender identities and expressions. 

Of course, bullying anyone for ANY reason is wrong in so many, many ways. As I said last year at ::this post::, as a teenager I was bullied, and one of the things the other girls picked up on to bully me over was their assumption of me being a lesbian because I did not adhere to traditional 'teenage girl' behaviour (and still don't!). This had a negative impact on my own discovery of my sexual orientation. As such, Spirit Day is certainly a cause that is close to my heart. 

As I did last year, I will not preach about the evils of bullying - that's like pointing out that wars are violent or that murder is bad; it is pretty much stating something that should be obvious to anyone with any morality. 

Do your best to help those who are hurting, listen to them, give them a safe space to vent and release. Stand up against those who use hurtful words, point out that it is wrong and unacceptable to bully people and make assumptions.  Look out for people in your life who might be suffering and be there for them. 

if you yourself are bullied, first of all find someone to talk to, someone who will listen. I know, both from experience and from countless personal accounts that educational establishments often don't do enough. I also know that some parents are hardly sympathetic, especially when it comes to their children being LGBTQ. Remember that your parents and school staff aren't the only people in the world - talk to a friend, a relative, or even an internet friend. When it comes to looking for help on the internet, I do stress being careful on the internet, as there are people who take advantage, and sadly I have to note that the proliferation of internet attention seekers crying wolf does mean that more public pleas for help and rants/venting are often met with derision, suspicion and a lack of sympathy. Don't keep it to yourself, that only makes it worse. Do try and sort things via the proper channels, and do try and explain to your parents if at all possible. In the UK there are advice and listening telephone numbers, with people at the other end to help. 

If you are in immediate physical danger, defend yourself (within the law, obviously). 

Purple is my favourite colour, so it isn't too hard for me to find something purple in my almost all-black wardrobe. I suggest you do something, even if it's just some purple ribbon, or a purple tie, just do something to show your solidarity. 

Links

::Spirit Day at GLAAD:: - the official website for Spirit Day.

::Samaritans::, for the despairing and suicidal - they have a letter, telephone and e-mail service.

::ChildLine:: helpline for children facing a variety of issues, including bullying. 

::Lesbian & Gay Switchboard:: UK advice for LGBT people.

I Have Purple Hair Again!

I had a long chat with some of the management team at work, and I was allowed to dye my hair purple, as long as it wasn't too vivid. So,  I went off and did that! I have been holding out because I didn't want to do anything that would be considered very unprofessional-looking, or go against dress code. I understand the need to look sensible and responsible for the parents at the school, but as vivid colours have become more fashionable and mainstream, and as several of the mothers have interesting colour hair (one has bright blue!), I think I am now in a better place to have purple hair, especially darker purple, as it is a lot more acceptable than it was a few years back. 

My eczema did not agree with my lipstick.
The skin around my lips is pink. I don't have giant lips. 

I get a rather itchy reaction to all dyes involving PPD, whether black, purple, blue or otherwise. As such, I've had to go away from permanent dyes and search for other ways to get my hair interesting colours. I've gone for semi-permanent dyes, which are more expensive as they require more maintenance and touch-ups, but which allow me to have a variety of colours without a sore and itchy head. I've tried henna and indigo, but would take so many applications just to get my hair black, that it wouldn't be financially viable. 

The first step in dyeing my hair was bleaching it. As I have previously experimented with henna, this didn't quite go to plan. As my hair was all back to the same dark brown, I had assumed that all the henna had washed out. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and it is just that the henna'd hair was about the same colour as my natural hair, and therefore I couldn't see it. The results from the first bleach treatment was hair that was blonde at the top, and copper from a few inches down to the tips. 

Not a pretty sight, but a work in progress.

This was not what was anticipated! I did this on Wednesday morning before an afternoon shift, and had to wear a wig to work! Oops. I then went back into town to buy more bleach to bleach the copper parts a second time. Even after a second bleaching, they went to a pale ginger (I don't have a picture) whereas the very top roots went blonde. Initially I panicked, but after advice from my friend Eilidh, I figured that my hair dyeing would probably result graduated plum effect, and that was something I could work with. 

After adding some Stargazer Plume, itself a blueish purple, I ended up with a good plummy colour that I was reasonably happy with, but it was a bit too red for my liking, almost a dark pink rather than a purple. As you can see, my natural hair is reasonably long. Anyway, in this photo the graduated effect is not very visible, but it is in real life. 

Purple!

I then bought some Stargazer True Blue to give a darker (and thus less vivid, as I felt that the plum was perhaps too bright on its own for work) and more obviously varied effect. I sectioned off the most vivid sections of my hair with hair-tyes and clipped them above the crown of my head (which, as it had previously been blonde, was a very vivid purple) and then set about adding blue to the browner and redder sections in order to make a deeper, more purple colour. The effect makes it look like I have plum highlights, purple as a main colour, and deep, almost indigo, lowlights. I'm really happy with it. 

Several purples - and frizzy hair! Oops. 

I am hoping that this photo demonstrates the variety of purples in my hair a bit better. My hair is a bit dry and frizzy from repeated bleaching and dyeing. I am delaying washing it so that some of the natural oils can return and bring it back to life a bit, and the next time I wash it, I will minimise shampoo and condition it thoroughly. Altogether, I am very happy with my hair, and will wear it out to dinner with friends on Friday with pride! 

All photos are webcam selfies taken on my MacBook. Please ask if you wish to repost anywhere, and if you do, please credit Domesticated Goth and link back here. 

Purple Lipstick, Cyber-Goth Makeup and Goggles

I am terribly sorry for being late in participating in Sophistique Noir's Monthly Theme!

I had forgotten that this month's theme was purple. Well, when I first read it, I was going to showcase my lovely plum and black flocked bedding (as opposed to my black-on-black flocked bedding, or my charcoal and black 'damask' patterned bedding, or my piles of black cushions... I am one of those Goths whose preferred aesthetics are applied to most of what they own.) but then I forgot about it entirely and did not get around to photographing the bedroom. 

Oops.

So, something else purple! Here is some Cyber-Goth style makeup I did last summer. I'm wearing my micro-braid wig, which has a few purple braids down one side, and my goggles have purple lenses (made from an old translucent document wallet that I cut up!). 

As you can see, terrible selfies taken on my onboard webcam, again. This is what happens when I want  pictures of me and Raven is out working! All selfies taken either in the mirror or with funny out-stretched arm movements look even worse, and as Raven is quite possessive of his photographic equipment, and I'm too polite to touch his tripod without asking, I haven't got around to just mounting a camera on a tripod, sticking a cushion where my head will be to focus on, and then running back around to where the cushion was with the camera set to take a picture via the timer. 

Anyway, the micro-braid wig is self made, and the makeup was done to match. The lipstick is a metallic purple that is almost iridescent made by Stargazer. The eyeshadow is actually black and silver, but with a touch of purple under my eyes. I don't have purple eye-liner, sadly, it just looks that way in the photograph.

I like drawing elongated corner on my inner eyes, but rarely do I get them as neatly done as here. I almost always get them wrong, however much I practise. I did decorative shapes around one eye in eye-liner, and as per usual I didn't do both. This is because a) it's really hard to get the symmetry exact, and b) I think that it becomes too much and looks cluttered if I do both sides. 

I am actually wearing a 'spaghetti straps' tank top! With my braids obscuring the straps, it looks like I'm not wearing a top, but I am. You can just about see a purple goggle-lense in this last picture, and it shows the dots and lines and suchlike around my right eyes. I'm so used to doing foliate designs and swirls; the angular design and dots were a bit different. I also like how this picture shows how the silver eye-shadow goes right up to my nose, but the eyeliner from the inner corner is brought upwards with a bit of black eye-shadow to the crease, to give a more distinct eyelid, and to make my nose look narrower.

I think this post also shows a little of how varied my style can be. One day I can be all black curls and lace and frills, and another day I am all spikes and goggles and purple lipstick! I wear things because I think they look nice, and I refuse to get pigeonholed into one specific style. 

Spirit Day 2012

Today is Spirit Day. Spirit Day started off as a Canadian phenomenon, but has since gone global, in no small part due to internet users, and is a day of standing in solidarity with LGBTQ youth and in solidarity against bullies. To take part in Spirit Day, show your support by wearing purple.   

Of course, bullying is not a one-day-a-year occurrence but to some a near-daily blight on their lives. I'm not going to preach about how bullying people is wrong, or about how there is nothing wrong with being lesbian, gay, bisexual or being outside of the traditional gender binary, because these things should be pretty obvious to anyone.

What I will say is to do your best to help those who are hurting, and if you yourself are bullied, find someone to talk to, someone who will listen - I know that educational establishments often don't do enough, and that some parents are hardly sympathetic, but these aren't the only people in the world - talk to a friend, a relative, an internet friend (although I do stress being careful on the internet, and sadly note that the proliferation of internet attention seekers crying wolf does mean that more public pleas for help and rants/venting are often met with derision), somebody - don't keep it to yourself, that only makes it worse. Do try and seek justice and help via the proper channels, and do try and explain to your parents if at all possible. In the UK there are advice and listening telephone numbers, with people at the other end to help. 

Bullying doesn't mean that that the bullied person is a bad person; it means that the bullies are bad people.

Spirit Day was founded in response to teen suicides related to bullying, and that's one thing this world doesn't need any more of. 

As a teenager, other girls made assumptions about my sexuality due to my lack of adherence to gender roles, they called me a dyke, a lesbian, and plenty of things too rude to type here, they spread malicious rumours and generally used the assumption that I was a lesbian as another difference to make fun off (as if being a gangly, academically successful (to the point of having skipped a year at school), alternative girl with braces wasn't enough. What made it worse was at the time, I actually did have a huge crush on a girl at the time, and had not yet had a crush on anybody male, which  were things I was too afraid to acknowledge, because the use of "gay", "dyke", and "lesbo" as insults made it seem like those were bad things to be, that there was something wrong with me, that worst of all, the bullies were right. It took me a while to openly acknowledge that I was bisexual. 

I'm now in a long-term (hopefully permanent) relationship with a man, so in terms of societal acceptance I seem superficially to be heteronormatively acceptable, but that doesn't mean that I agree with the way that certain members of society treat LGBTQ people, or that I don't understand what it's like to be a young person questioning and learning about their own sexuality in the face of the prejudices of others. 

As such, my heart goes out to all that suffer due to the prejudices of others, and remember - you are not alone, and you are not a bad, broken, or evil person for being LGBTQ - those who bully, on the other hand... 

Links

::Spirit Day at GLAAD:: - the official website for Spirit Day.

::Samaritans::, for the despairing and suicidal - they have a letter, telephone and e-mail service.

::ChildLine:: helpline for children facing a variety of issues, including bullying. 

::Lesbian & Gay Switchboard:: UK advice for LGBT people.