Goth Make-Up On A Man!

My friend was feeling a bit down, and so I invited him and a mutual friend over to mine for an evening, they made him tacos and I did his make-up. 

Photograph and make-up by HouseCat. 

He tends to wear a mix of Romantic Goth and 'corp-Goth' fashion - a fondness for black shirts, waistcoats with nice buttons, brocade ties and cravats, black suits in slightly vintage cuts, etc. etc. I tried to do make-up that would suit his outfit, but my the designs I know well enough to try on someone else are all based on designs that go with the fully Romantic Goth outfits I usually wear. He wanted to look "full on Goth" and requested the same sort of swirlies that are ubiquitous and characteristic of my personal make-up style.

I very rarely get to do make-up on another person, so that was its own challenge. I actually think it is easier than doing it on myself with a mirror for the simple fact of it not being done in a mirror. I don't like doing eye make-up on other people because I am worried I will accidentally poke them in the eye, plus people are always twitchier when someone else is doing their eye make-up than they are doing it themselves - hard to draw on swirlies or eyeliner when the person is twitching!

A lot of people assume that if a man wears makeup he is either gay or genderqueer because make-up is seen as a female thing; my friend is heterosexual and cisgendered. Make-up is for anyone who wants to use it. Personally, I think the Goth scene in recent years has seen a reduction in elaborate and dramatic make-up, especially on men, and as I quite like dramatic make-up (and drawing swirlies), I would like to see a reversal of this trend. 

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today was Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day on which to remember all of those murdered or driven to suicide for being transgender. It saddens me greatly to live in a world where people will kill each other over something that is really a personal thing. 

One of my friends is a transgender woman, who I will refer to here as only Helena, for her own privacy, and she wrote this on FaceBook, and with her permission I post it here: 

Today is transgender Day of Remembrance, where we take a moment to memorialize the trans people who lost their lives as a result of transphobia, be it because of murder, or because of suicide at the result of bullying or harassment.

Statistics tell us that a person identifying as trans* is murdered once every three days. This does not include suicide or any other cause of death. The trans community is one of the most discriminated-against groups of people, much more than cis-gender LGB people are. Simply coming out with a desire to maybe transition can put a person in danger of attack, loss of friends, getting fired, getting kicked out of the home (often by their own parents), and many other things that most people will never have to worry about.   

What I ask of you is to consider all of the above, and reflect on both the long way we have come in terms of awareness and acceptance, but also the very long way we still have to go. And if you know someone whose gender identity doesn't match what is commonly accepted, be supportive. Treat them as you would treat another person. Stick up for them if they are bullied. Offer a safe space for them to retreat to if they need it. You don't have to understand every minute aspect of our struggle to understand that most of us cannot fight it without your support.

Thank you.

When it comes to those I know who have transitioned, to me, it is as if they had any other form of body modification or plastic surgery, and the only thing that is different to me is what vocabulary I use in terms of new names and pronouns/gender descriptions if I knew them by other terms previously. I guess I am someone who sees gender as very much a social construct, probably because I have never understood or fit into that construct, and therefore gender is not something very relevant to how I see others or myself, so it doesn't really matter much to me whether someone is cisgendered, genderqueer or transgendered. I understand that it is important to how other people see themselves, but that's just not an important thing to how I see them (or myself, which I have written about ::here::). 

People are people, to be judged on how they act, what they say and do, NOT on what their genitals are or what their gender is. That seems like such a basic idea - don't judge - yet it is one that seems to only just be gathering momentum in the last few decades, even after all the hard work of late 18thC and 19thC social activists and those more recently.

Sadly, not everybody comes without prejudice, hence the horrible mess in the world that makes up sexism, homophobia and transphobia - all linked in how they based in the social acceptance of behaviour and characteristics according to archaic gender roles.  Think of how much homophobia is about gay men being effeminate, or lesbian women being masculine, or much of sexism being about how women ought to be meek and caring, and men aggressive and ambitious (in very broad terms). To me, it seems boggling that people develop such intolerance and hatred, and such a lack of empathy as to hate someone to the point of being actively bullying towards them, let alone murdering them. It seems like such a disconnect from basic humanity. Even if you, personally, do not understand, are squeamish about, or dislike what someone else has chosen to do, that does not give you the right to be nasty, aggressive or rude to them. 

Treat each other with dignity and respect, allow people their own choices. If you disagree with them, disagree politely, if you have questions, ask them with sensitivity (and sometimes, if you can't figure out how to ask politely just ask a search engine - as an algorithm, it won't be offended). If someone you know is suffering, and on this day, especially those who are suffering because their gender identity or expression does not fit into the narrow bounds set down from an older world, offer them compassion and kindness. 

Feminism and Anti-Trans Sentiment

After a certain rant published in the Observer, there has been a flare-up of what is seen to be an animosity between transwomen and feminists (as if these two groups can be lumped into two monolithic rivals...), stemming from outright transphobic sentiment from feminists. I'd like to start with saying that I see people as individuals, and judging them on gender expression is pretty much never going to be something that I do. I judge people on whether or not they are nice to others, and that's about it. 

Feminism was supposed to be about creating a world in which men and women were truly equal, and while there have certainly been an improvement in many societies, the world is still not an equal place, not even in countries where women are legally equals, and therefore our battles are not done. Part of what feminism has fought for is seeing women as people, and not pigeonholing them by their genitals, so it seems exceedingly hypocritical when people who call themselves feminists go around pigeonholing others according to their genitals. 

To the feminists who are quite a way outside stereotypical gendered behaviour:

On this blog I often write about stereotypically "feminine" things like dresses and makeup, fashion, etc. These are only some of my interests, and a lot more of my interests are things that are traditionally "masculine", and I know very well what it is like to be mocked, bullied, and ostracised by other women for not being girly enough, and treated badly by men for the same 'reason', and I know what it's like to have abuse hurled at me in the street for not presenting as "feminine" enough for the standards of lowlife drunks. 

{It was only a few days ago that I had "Oi! Mosher! F**k off you lesbo dyke, f**k off out of town, we don't want your kind, you aren't even f**king FEMALE" shouted at me by a gang of yobs in the town centre because I happen to prefer combat trousers, army boots, a trench-coat and a short hair-style to the short skirts, high heels, and long blonde-hair worn by many party-goers that January Friday night. I was also still listening when the same yobs shouted lewd sexual comments at the girls in heels and short skirts...}

I know that it hurts when you're on the receiving end of the prejudice against those who do not conform to gender stereotypes, but the existence of transgender people does not somehow confirm these insults to be right, and it is not another attempt to say that you, as a non-stereotypical woman, ought to go become a man, because women aren't supposed to be like that. It is the way some others want to lives, and it is not an attack against yours. 

To feminists in general:

If someone born in a biologically male-sexed body has surgery or uses other means to alter that body into one with female appearance, and live life as a woman, then they are going to receive a lot of the nasty inequalities aimed at women, as well as the prejudices that exist against transgender people. I can see why they'd want to join in with the feminist cause. Actually, I can see why any logical thinking person would want join in with the feminist cause; because anyone with any shred of empathy would realise that a world in which half the population are treated differently and as inferior to the other half is wrong. On a lot of feminist issues, whether someone is cis-gendered or trans-gendered should only really matter to their doctors and has no impact on the debate. Yes, there are certain health issues that can only affect cis-gendered women, and that things like reproductive rights issues are going to be particularly important to women who can get pregnant, but to outcast transgendered women from feminism because of this is equal to saying that cis-gendered women who have had hysterectomies, or are sterile, or whatever, cannot partake in feminism. 

Spend less time arguing about who does and does not get to be a feminist, and spend more time making the world a fairer place. Being mean to somebody else is not doing anything helpful to make others not be mean to you; this is playground stuff, I shouldn't have to explain it outside of work.

Oh, and never, ever get into the whole 'suffering Olympics' of trying to rank each other's woes and out-woe each other. Everyone's experiences are unique, and the amount of negativity they will get for being a certain minority will vary due to various factors. Really, this sort of behaviour is just pointless attempts at point-scoring. 

Practical Goth Style

I Don't ALWAYS Wear Frills

What I look like a lot of the time. I have no idea why I pulled that face.
I don't normally have THAT particular expression on. 

Those who keep up with the Domesticated page on FaceBook will have seen that photograph before.  It's a selfie taken with the onboard camera on my laptop.

I'm not really sure where I am aiming with this post. It's mostly an alternative to the two main stylistic expressions of Goth I see amongst female (mostly) bloggers and club-goers and festival-goers.

I've been told that looking like this makes me look more masculine (Ok, I got some random delinquent shout "Oi! Dyke! You look like a fag" at me in the street. I'm not sure how that insult works; I think he was telling me I was non-feminine lesbian who looked like a gay man as if sexual orientation somehow externally visible and comes with a dress code... But what else should I expect from a rude and prejudiced delinquent? )but I don't like to think of it as "masculine" because I think the gendering of styles is a societal construct that is directly related to the time and place - a kimono is not a dress, a kilt is not a skirt, etc. - and I just see it as a non-frilled, more practical style with a shorter hair style and no makeup.

I think people should wear what they like regardless of societal gender attribution of the clothes in question, so where I call things feminine,  if you are a man, androgyne, or other and want to wear them, go ahead. Femininity in these cases refers to their current cultural attributes, not to anything intrinsic. 

Recently, I have noticed two main trends, if one is to call them that, in women's (gendered fashion, I know, but these styles are predominantly worn by people identifying as women or girls) Goth fashion:

One is a very "sexy" style consisting of very short tutu-style skirts, ripped fishnets, very high heels, corsets and not much else, combined with hair extensions and lots of makeup designed to emphasise female secondary sexual characteristics such as the curvature of the waist (corsets), the shape of the hips (corsets and the way high heels make a person stand), the bust (corsets and revealing tops) and  the cheekbones (makeup designed to give a sculpted effect). The emphasis is on a womanly body. 

The second is based on women's attire from the Victorian era and Lolita fashion, and is an abundance of frills and lace, again with corseting to emphasise the hourglass figure, and with full skirts that give a width to contrast further with the tight-laced waist, ornate makeup more focused on being art  and drawing attention to the eyes than on emphasising any specific facial characteristic, hair in ringlets or curls, and very precarious hats. Again a very "feminine" style according to those who gender fashion. 

These are fine, I like both of these styles - I've been known to wear both of these styles, especially the latter.  I like corsets, I like emphasising the bits of my "womanly body" that I like best. I am not criticising these styles, or those who wear them, all I am saying is that I see MOSTLY these styles, and not a lot else. Goth fashion was actually originally quite different - the Romantic Goth style certainly has a basis in the '80s (just look at some of Dave Vanian's and Patricia Morrison's outfits!), but did not really come to the fore until the '90s and the advent of mass-produced clothes designed specifically for the Goth market, as before then anything very ornate or fancy had to either come from high fashion aimed at the evening-wear market, come from theatrical costuming, or involve considerable amounts of DIY (even dyeing a wedding-dress black isn't that easy, especially with so many made from synthetic fabrics!). 

The skimpy outfits seem to be based in both Deathrock and Cybergoth (where Cybergoth is seen as a fusion of Goth, Industrial and Rave and not as a 'subset' of Goth) and again is a more recent thing, especially as corsets were far harder to come by and more expensive about 10 to 15 years ago than they are, and as the Cybergoth scene has influenced the Goth scene a tendency to borrow aspects from that style has increased, and also following the Deathrock Revival. 

An aside: Interestingly enough, a lot of what is referred to as 'Nu-Goth' has its roots in '80s Goth - backcombed deliberately 'unkempt' hair, oversized t-shirts with bold graphics and skinny jeans - all those things could equally describe various outfits worn by Siouxsie Sioux in the early '80s! I actually like how a lot of 'Nu-Goth' fashion looks equally good on either gender, is considerably more practical than some of Goths more ornate manifestations. (Clothes with tubing and clothes with lace are NOT practical). 

I don't always wander around in frills. A lot of the time wearing a really frilly outfit just is not practical - I'm either at work (where I wear work-specific outfits) or doing chores, or doing charity work, or doing something else where frills just are not suitable. If I am out and about doing something practical, the last thing I want to do is wear finery that could be possibly damaged, or which could cause me to get caught up and possibly injured. I don't feel that my practical outfits have to be any less 'Goth', or that I am any less Goth for wearing something that isn't ornate or flamboyant. I also don't always feel like following the anachronistic aesthetic - sometimes I prefer things with a touch of military inspiration from this century (rather than the ornate uniforms of centuries past - Hussards de la Mort, I am looking at you!) and sometimes I prefer things with a more modern, sleeker aesthetic - that's just my fluctuating tastes. I was "tomboyish" as a child, and retain a lot of fashion preferences from that period (pockets and zips, please!). 

No Frills And No Corsets Practical Style Ramblings:

Trousers

⚔ Trousers are really quite practical, and yes, I am Captain Obvious. 

I love wearing trousers. It actually took me until I was in my late teens to show any sign of appreciation for skirts, before then I thought of them primarily as outdated and impractical rather than pretty.  You can run freely in most styles of trousers, you are unlikely to end up accidentally flashing your underwear if you attempt something vaguely gymnastic, they keep your legs warm and cosy without tights, and and there are trousers to suit and fit every body type. 

⚔ Combats are probably the MOST practical.

My favourite type of trousers are combats (cargo trousers in America - which is odd as I would have thought the more militaristic name would be preferred), preferably black. I used to have a pair of camouflage combat trousers as a kid, but since my teens I have preferred plain black. Since seeing some rather nice grey and black 'urban camo' pattern combat trousers, I've been interested in getting a pair of those, because the greys do break up the black. 

⚔ Strappy trousers are not the sole preserve of 'Mall Goths'

I actually like those trousers with the abundant pockets, extra wide legs and straps. The straps are often removable if they get in the way, the pockets are really useful, the wide legs fit and flatter a variety of body shapes, and they actually don't look quite as overtly militaristic as combat trousers. Sadly they have become associated with 'Mall Goths', which I think is perplexing as I personally associate them more with certain branches of Rivethead and Cybergoth style. Raven has a fabulous pair in black with red detailing that he wears as part of red and black Cybergoth-inspired outfits. Hearing them called "bondage pants" is odd to me (especially as a Brit- "pants" here are underwear! I do know that "pants" are trousers in America.) as they do not seem particularly fetish related to me (I would imagine "bondage pants" as something involving leather, chastity devices and lots of D and O rings to be useful for restraint and actual bondage... I may not have the cleanest imagination.) 

Aside: as a teenager I could not order that sort of trouser online because the "parental filters" that took the BDSM interpretation of the concept of "bondage pants" rather than the strapped trousers interpretation. 

Boots

⚔ Patent leather ankle boots and suchlike should be an obvious choice. 

Doc Marten's are the traditional brand; they are well-made, comfortable shoes. They have been worn by subcultural types for decades (sometimes literally) and are brilliant. There are a lot of cheaper imitations on the market now, as the style has become fashionable again. I prefer the original brand for quality and comfort.  

⚔ Army boots are not just for the army.

I have a pair of ex-British Army combat boots. They are warm (with an insole) and comfortable. I have a few military friends, all of whom have given me tips on how to achieve and maintain a high gloss finish (I'm looking at you, Sarge!). I have an acquaintance (who runs a shop selling antique militaria; I bought a sword off her) whose daughter was a Goth and who reliably informs me that the most hard-wearing and comfortable army boots to be worn every day, as tried and tested by her daughter, are those intended for the French Foreign Legion. I have not yet managed to try a pair to know for myself. 

Also, fake 'military boots' with the zips at the side have proven unreliable in my experience; I have had the zips damaged or break more than once, especially on cheaper boots. 

⚔ Hiking boots do come in black.

If you're going hiking, don't feel that the boots have to be brown. My hiking boots are black. I do a lot of stuff that involves walking off road, up mountains and hills and in forests, and hiking boots are specifically designed for hiking. 

Tops

⚔ Shirts are for everybody.

I wear a lot of plain black button up shirts  - fitted ones, yes, but ones that are better described as women's work shirts than as blouses. I see blouses as having more decorative details and being made of more decorative materials. In summer I tend to wear black button-up short-sleeved shirts over a thin tank-top. I can vary the amount of buttons undone in accordance with the temperature, or just take it off and tie it around my waist if it gets hot enough (and, of course, slater on the suncream!). 

⚔ Turtle-neck jumpers are not only for the late Steve Jobs. 

In winter I am very frequently seen having traded in my frills and skirts for black combat trousers, a black turtle neck, a scarf and my leather long coat. Having a turtleneck on under the scarf is such good insulation, especially in the case of the accidental dislodgement of one's scarf. I have at least 5 black turtle neck jumpers in a variety of thicknesses, and one fluffy grey and black stripy one (although that one is between a cowl neck and turtle-neck). 

⚔ Leather jackets are traditionally Goth AND awesome. 

Do I REALLY need to explain why leather jackets are awesome? No, I didn't think I did. 

That is all, pretty much, I can think to write about. I don't consider myself much of a style guru. I'm better at being practical than being stylish, which I why I actually thought to write this (rather than "how to do look devilishly handsome on combats" or something) and I don't think I am breaking any new ground or doing anything beyond pointing out a few oft-forgotten but pretty obvious things. 

Oh and the ⚔ symbol? I'm STILL on the waiting list for fencing (argh!) and have no proper reason to use the symbol other than I miss waving sword-type things about the place! 

Shout out: Sarge, I KNOW are reading this. I'm hoping calling you generic "Sarge" is anonymous enough (those who know you AND me will know who I mean, hopefully nobody else does). I hope everything is going well for you, and I look forwards to seeing you again, and I hope you got my letters and stuff. You've only got a week left until you're back home! I look forwards to you rocking out on guitar when you get back! Stay safe.